Congress After Hours: What Congress Is Doing When It’s Doing Nothing

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Hill interns have leaked shocking footage of Congressional proceedings that seem to explain the legislative branch’s notorious gridlock. Long criticized for its stasis on any productive activity whatsoever, Congress is known by many Americans as a place where good ideas go to die. While partisan politics and constant filibustering were once believed to be the cause of congressional…

Newslo Declares War on The Onion

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NEW YORK — Newslo, the first purely democratic source for breaking news, is formally at war with dictatorial and monopolizing newsgroup, The Onion. In a statement from Roger Arkin, Press Secretary for Newslo, the site announced a preemptive strike on The Onion after Newslo’s intelligence department discovered The Onion’s plan for an attempted Internet takeover. Arkin explained that The Onion has “slowly,…