“To do otherwise is to disrespect the United States”
“It’s like killing two birds with one stone”
“After all – birds of a feather flock together”
“It’s sort of like a threesome – the wife should not get angry at her husband for focusing on the other girl”
“Nothing says ‘I’m your friend’ better than some well-earned trust”
“While the Islamic Republic of Iran continues our denial that gay people exist within its borders, we admit that there are some in Israel, and possibly in other countries around the world,” Rouhani told the U.N.
WOLFEBORO, N.H. — Sources within the Romney campaign claim that the Republican nominee discovered a pair of golden tablets with instructions for how he should lead the United States. The tablets, which Romney said he found buried in his backyard, reportedly have parables about men marrying each other, a rogue nation with magical weapons, and an evil trickster who wanders through the…
TEHRAN, IRAN — Greetings from Tehran! No, this isn’t a bearded Jake Gyllenhaal in his newest role. It is I, Mahmoud, live and in the flesh in my private bunker. Fear not: I have not taken to the bunker because I am in danger. I merely thought I saw a Jew, so I took refuge. As your people continue to tighten your…