Jeb Bush: “Obama Allowed Creation Of ISIS To Counteract Israel In The Middle East”
“He’s essentially allowed the snakes back into the snake pit”
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ISIS
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US State Department: “We Can Fight ISIS By Giving Them Jobs, Maybe In Our Immigration Program”
“That way, I think they could really learn to appreciate what it takes to be an American”
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French ISIS Members said they’ll Burn Down Paris If French Kissing Isn’t Forbidden
“We hereby warn the French government to abolish and prohibit French kissing on a global level”
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Phil Robertson Heads to Iraq to Convert ISIS to Christianity
“The chances of someone involved getting beheaded seem high,” Deputy Secretary of Defense Robert Work said. “Nonetheless, we’re just going to sit back and see how this one unfolds.”
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ISIS Angry Most of Its Flags ‘Made in New Jersey’
“The Islamic State will not be labeled or otherwise boxed in by the Garden State,” read the jihadist organization’s message on Twitter.
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Publishers Hire ISIS Insurgents to Save Print Media With Their Aggressive Advertising Savvy
“Not only are they effective jihadists but they have a sense of humor,” according to Toby Dodge of the London School of Economics. “Their wit helps balance out some of their brutality."
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ExxonMobil Endorses ISIS to Stabilize High Gas Prices
It'll be business as usual for us,” Tillerson concluded. “You can count on that.”
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