“Maybe I should remind Mr. Boehner that I’m a black belt in judo”
“As a man of color myself,” said Boehner as he sopped his tears with a white monogrammed tissue that accentuated his bright orange hue, “it was as if the president were talking directly to me.”
“[We] have no issue with gay people,” Boehner claimed. “We have a problem with people who support gay marriage or want gays to be able to serve in the military.”
John Boehner stars as Miley Cyrus….
WASHINGTON — When President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner met for the first time since the President won re-election, the two long-time foes found something to bond over – their public display of tears! Boehner is famous for crying when he became Speaker of the House and on several occasions since. Obama recently wiped away tears speaking at an…
WASHINGTON–The Arab Spring germinated the seeds of democracy in nations like Egypt, Libya, and Syria. Decades of totalitarian repression have proven too much for freedom-loving peoples in the Middle East and Northern Africa to tolerate, and with the help of social media, they have thrown off the bonds of despotism. Many of these peoples’ uprisings have gained support from American politicians who…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Hill interns have leaked shocking footage of Congressional proceedings that seem to explain the legislative branch’s notorious gridlock. Long criticized for its stasis on any productive activity whatsoever, Congress is known by many Americans as a place where good ideas go to die. While partisan politics and constant filibustering were once believed to be the cause of congressional…
NEW YORK — Leaked late-night text messages from Wall St. to the Democratic National Committee have revealed Wall St.’s growing discontent towards liberals’ treatment of the financial community as an “ugly mistress.” The text messages point to the Democrats’ constant condemnation of Wall St., but also expose the behind-closed-doors love affair taking place out of sight of Main Street, the Democrats’ longtime…