Ceasefire in Middle East Extends to John Kerry’s Mouth
At press time, bombings and attacks had recommenced between the two sides, but John Kerry had not officially offered any insight, a rare victory for Israelis and Palestinians alike.
Share
Posts by tag
John Kerry
5 posts
India Refuses to Allow Sec. Kerry into Country without Cavity Search
“I deeply sympathize with the Indian government,” said a beleaguered and clearly concerned Kerry. “And while I truly detested my last colonoscopy, I am prepared to undergo the horror of a full-body cavity search in the spirit of strong international relations..
Share
Israelis and Palestinians Fund Syrian Rebels to Keep John Kerry Away
“I mean this is a man that published a picture of him wind surfing of the coast of Nantucket in order to connect with the average American,” Abbas vented, “can you imagine a more out of touch obnoxious move?”
Share
Kerry Argues for Constitutional Amendment Protecting ‘Right to Be Stupid’
WASHINGTON — While Secretary of State John Kerry’s admission to students in Berlin that in America “you have a right to be stupid if you want to be” was immediately…
Share
Study: GOP Senators Literally Drunk on Filibuster
WASHINGTON – According to a new study, Republican senators are now literally, physiologically drunk on power after years of using the so-called filibuster rule to block votes on bills they…
Share