Workers in the footage can be seen suckling on Kim’s discarded sweat rags for sustenance.
“And what’s up with Tara?” he continued. “A character with such furniture-like depth and verbose tentacles of expression simply deserves more.”
“If worst comes to worst and North Korea decides to go for self-assured self-destruction,” added Schiller, “we can just kick back and watch the fireworks.”
“All they did was a Facebook page. I mean come on, this is the leader of North Korea we’re talking about. Try a little harder.”
With the position vacant after Song-thaek’s expulsion and execution, Dennis Rodman will officially be sworn in as North Korea’s Supreme National Defender within the month.
“North Korea’s unqualified triumph at the 2013 Summer Olympics is simply the latest in a succession of similar victories, such as those at the 2012 Summer Olympics, the 2011 Summer Olympics, the 2010 Summer Olympics, the 2009 Summer Olympics, and so forth,”
Kim Jong-un, the leader of the DPRK – the wealthiest, most advanced and prosperous nation on Earth, answers our readers’ financial questions: Dear Leader, The stock market is at an all-time high, and I finally found a job after 3 years of unemployment. Should I invest all my extra earnings into stocks? – confused-yet-optimistic reader Dear Reader, Great question! Not as great…
PYONGYANG — North Dakota Governor Jack Dalrymple has approved the high level diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Kim Jong-un’s Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK). The governor’s announcement came only a week after the Dalyrymble signed three historic abortion-restricting bills into law on March 26. The two states, North Dakota and North Korea, have united to form the ‘Union of Norths…
OSAKA, Japan – Following a series of verbal jousting between the governments of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, or North Korea, and the United States of America, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has declared the “no-backsies” rule to be in effect in the event of a nuclear war between his country, America and its allies. “North Korea retains its first strike…
Americans Fear Kim Jong-un’s Plan to Attack United States, but Just Can’t Resist Those Chubby Cheeks
PYONGYANG — North Korea’s latest threats against the international community, and the United States in particular, have left many worried whether the rogue nation might actually follow through on an attack. But while the vast majority of Americans agree that they find the prospect of a nuclear North Korea with long-range rocket capabilities harrowing, many just can’t resist Supreme Leader Kim Jung-un’s…