After Screwing Argentinian Mistress, Sanford Sets Sights on Screwing Entire Nation

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In the kind of Cinderella story you only hear about in pornographic remakes of German fairy tales, Mark Sanford has won a special election in South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District over Democratic nominee Elizabeth Colbert Busch, sister of comedian Stephen Colbert. Sanford is best known as the former South Carolina governor who went “hiking on the Appalachian Trail.” After being out of…

Mark Sanford: This Week Has S-U-C-K-E-D for Me

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Yeesh! It’s been a craptacular couple of days for the ole’ Sanford and Sons. As you may have heard, the Republican Party has sent me out to pasture, saying on Wednesday they won’t be putting any money into my campaign. Well, guess what, dipshits? I like being outdoors—woo! I heard what you guys said, that it’s “foolish” for anyone to give me…