“It was so nice to have a woman explain it to us in simple terms that we could understand. She didn’t try to use numbers or facts or anything hard. That was smart.”
By contrast, Sulzberger says he has “high hopes” for Baquet, Abramson’s replacement. “It’ll just be nice to chat while we’re side-by-side at the urinals,” Sulzberger tweeted Thursday. “Jill was apparently too good to have conversations over pee with me.”
Now facing the loss of another major underwriter, MSNBC president Phil Griffin tried to repair the damage and retain the backing of Cheerios as part of their complete breakfast spread of sponsors.
MSNBC interrupts Congresswoman for report on Justin Bieber
Baldwin’s punishment was initially going to be four weeks, but Griffin decided to reduce the sentence when the 30 Rock star got his gay hairdresser to vouch for him on TMZ.
“The world is a complicated place,” wrote Griffin, “Words like ‘facts’ and ‘truth’ have less meaning than they did ten or twenty years ago, and it’s becoming more and more difficult to live up to even the most lax journalistic standards.”
BERLIN — A crowd of activists numbering less than ten assembled in the heart of Berlin, Germany today to protest the German government’s recent ban on bestiality, or sexual intercourse between humans and other animals. The law, which most Germans greeted with indifference—since many believed man-on-animal sex was already banned—has outraged the group, the members of which seem unaware of the difference…
NEW YORK — Chris Matthews’ explosive meltdown after the first Presidential debate in Denver was not only shocking, but also incredibly entertaining. Matthew’s hair was ruffled. His eyes were so wide and angry they looked as though they might burst out of his skull. Viewers could almost see his arteries exploding on his forehead. While the president’s performance was an utter drag,…
WASHINGTON — The FBI has recently announced a manhunt in an effort to track down balanced investigative journalism. Journalism was last seen fraternizing with Fox, CNN, and ABC in 1998, but has not been heard from since. Rumors abounded that Journalism was at MSNBC and Fox News, but a cursory investigation revealed that it was in fact only an imposter. The FBI…
CHICAGO — Earlier this week, 24-hour national news networks spent a cumulative total of one minute and eight seconds discussing the 400th fatal shooting of a Chicago resident in 2012. The murder of Jose Escobar, 25, breaks the Chicago record for most homicides within the first three-quarters of a year and represents a 25% increase in gun violence from 2011. Such an…
NEW YORK — In an effort to cut costs as well as fend competition from rivals MSNBC and Fox News, the Cable News Network (CNN) has begun outsourcing its news to India. Time Warner executives claim that local Indian broadcast stations are willing to produce compelling stories at a significantly lower cost than American outlets. CNN’s new initiative is projected to save…
NEW YORK — A recent study has led several prominent physicists to predict that MSNBC, the progressive cable news network, is at risk of collapsing within the next five years. The scientists warned the FCC and MSNBC executives that the network has leaned too far forward for far too long, and will eventually fall over.