#NoNeedToSatirize: Peter King ‘offended’ Obama cited ‘moral reasons’ for new drone, Gitmo policy

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Peter King ‘offended’ Obama cited ‘moral reasons’ for new drone, Gitmo policy (via Raw Story )

Rep. Peter King (R-NY) on Sunday blasted President Barack Obama for taking a “moral tone” in shaping U.S. counterterrorism policy. In the first major speech of his second term on Thursday, the president highlighted the need to restrict the use of unnamed drones, close the detention center at Guantanamo…

Syria Seeks to Compete in Middle Eastern Violence, Launches Public Relations Campaign

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DAMASCUS — Taking advantage of the public relations opportunity created by the Hamas-Israel ceasefire, Syrian president Bashar al-Assad has launched a campaign to garner international attention towards his murderous campaign against Syrian civilians. President al-Assad has allocated diplomatic resources to the regime’s public relations department, headed by trusted inner-circle member Fahad al-Diri. According to al-Diri, the Syrian government has killed nearly 40,000…

Michele Bachmann Aims to Redefine the Word “Muslim”

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WOODBURY, Minn. — Michele Bachmann, Minnesota congresswoman and ex-scarecrow, has denied allegations that she and her colleagues have been conducting “a witch hunt” for Muslim Americans. But recent letters from the representative have argued that Muslims in the U.S. government are part of a wide plot involving numerous ordinary Muslim-Americans who wish to “impose Sharia law worldwide.” Bachmann told Newslo in an…

Pakistani Radicals Apologize for Protesting “Innocence of Muslims” Instead of Katherine Heigl Films

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KARACHI, Pakistan — “’Innocence of Muslims’ was blasphemous but ’27 Dresses’ is heresy so grave that it makes American homosexuality seem pious,” said a street protestor in Karachi upon being informed that Katherine Heigl was in fact still making movies. “I mean she did not completely ruin ‘Knocked Up’ but everything she has been in afterwards has been atrocious.” It is unclear…