“You see, the problem with this Pope is that he is a Nazi sympathizer who hates Jesus. That’s not me saying that, that was God. His exact words to me were ‘James, Pope Francis is an atheist.”
He also added that while he is all for honoring Church traditions, “a bunch of dudes in long flowing gowns who’ve never been on a date should probably not bring up the topic of gender and sexuality unprovoked.”
VATICAN CITY — Last month’s election of Pope Francis, a celebrated advocate for the poor in his native Argentina, has been met with acclaim by those hoping for change in the Roman Catholic Church. And now, following a visit to a youth detention center during which he washed the feet of two young women, progressive Catholics are viewing his open display of foot-fetishism…
VATICAN CITY — Cardinal Jorge Mario Borgeglio of Argentina was elected Pope this week in an election marred by faulty voting machines, according to cardinals who were present. “It’s truly a miracle that they chose me,” exclaimed a 76-year-old Borgeglio, who insists his name never even appeared on the ballot in the first place. “By the time they announced my name, I…
VATICAN CITY — In a surprise announcement today, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI informed a group of Cardinals that he would be resigning from the Papacy due to advancing age, declining health, and a strong desire to lose his virginity. Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi told reporters that the announcement caught Vatican officials off guard. “We all knew he was getting up there…