Knicks Fans Already Forget Who Jeremy Lin Is
NEW YORK — With the New York Knicks’ hot start to the season, Knicks fans are asking, “Jeremy who?” Knicks fans were recently asked how the excitement of this season’s…
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Victims of Hurricane Sandy Undergo Severe Technology Withdrawal
NEW YORK — Millions of Americans in the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic who lost power from the devastating super storm earlier this week are exhibiting symptoms of what experts call Post-Technology…
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Midtown Hot Dog Stand Refers To Self as ‘Food Truck,’ Enjoys Sudden Foodie Acclaim
NEW YORK — Jose Gutierrez, age 56, has been selling hot dogs from his food cart on Central Park South for almost fifteen years. While business was always steady enough…
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Bloomberg Asks for Creation of “Nanny-In-Chief” Cabinet Position, Nominates Self
WASHINGTON, D.C. — New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has petitioned President Obama to create a new cabinet position that he calls “Nanny-in-Chief.” The new office would be responsible for…
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Sanctions With Ahmadinejad: A New York Minute
NEW YORK — Well, all in all I would say that was a successful trip. One never knows what to expect from a jaunt to New York City, the land…
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Michael Bloomberg Exploring Alternative Methods for Securing a Fourth Term as Mayor
NEW YORK — Michael Bloomberg is looking into several alternative methods to allow himself to serve as Mayor of New York City for a fourth term, Bloomberg aides revealed today…
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Bloomberg Caught Strapping Dynamite to Verrazzano Bridge to Cut Off Staten Island
NEW YORK — Commuters along the Verrazzano-Narrows bridge yesterday morning were shocked to find NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg dangling below from a bungee-cord, duct-taping bricks of dynamite to the pilings…
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Lindsay Lohan Dead for Past 16 Months, No Noticeable Effect on Career
LOS ANGELES — The country’s celebrity gossip magazines held a joint press conference today to announce that Lindsay Lohan has in fact been clinically dead for the past 16 months,…
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