Rex Ryan Tells Press That Jets Will Stick with Losing

Rex-ryan

EAST RUTHERSFORD, N.J. — During a press conference addressing the Jets’ ineffectiveness in their past few games, as well as their plan of attack for Sunday’s game against the Dolphins, Head Coach Rex Ryan assured the press that their game plan and approach would not waiver as the team moves forward.  “Every week, it’s the same bunch of questions with you guys,”…

Coffee Cooler Mistaken For Gatorade Cooler

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — New York Jets players accidently grabbed a coffee samovar instead of the Gatorade cooler last Monday night, dumping 30 gallons of scalding-hot java on coach Rex Ryan, who is currently undergoing rehabilitation at Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Elated after an overtime field-goal propelled the Jets to a 12-11 victory over the Tennessee Titans, quarterback Mark Sanchez and the offensive line…

Tebow Confesses to Fascination With Grass

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Tim Tebow revealed in a press conference yesterday that his signature one-knee stance we have come to know as “Tebowing” is not a personal shout-out to God but rather just a deep, profound fascination with grass. “It’s just so green,” he told reporters outside Newark Airport. “And I don’t understand how it grows upward. Seems like something would…