“I probably deserved to get ripped off for reading those texts about Tom Cruise’s third nipple. But to be charged extra for the added inconvenience of dropped calls and those interminable interactive voice-response menus?
“Where’s Your Kid” is set to air throughout the summer Wednesday Nights at 9 p.m. on the HLN network.

Susan’s loan officer offered this advice, “Keep your assets liquid and don’t send your child to school with too many juice boxes.
“It’s what God intended,” added Yoho.
“Why is Dr. Dre making headphones anyway?” Cook asked. “Does he have a degree in electrical engineering from Carnegie Melon we don’t know about? Dre should be creating hip-hop masterpieces and changing the rap music landscape forever.”

“We try to take every wish we get seriously. We are an organization that is dedicated to making dreams come true.” Said CEO, David Williams.
“Right now, the sum is small potatoes compared to the nation’s debt,” noted Princeton economist Vincent Templeton, “but if the U.S. defaults without a solid backup currency in place, we may be reduced to trading in potatoes.”

NEW YORK – An irate Mayor Bloomberg, stung by the last-minute blockage of his much-touted ban on the sale of large sugary drinks, threatened to appoint convicted “cannibal cop” Gilberto Valle to roam the streets of New York and “look at fat people funny” if his law doesn’t go through. Bloomberg also said that Valle would mosey into restaurants that would’ve been…