news and humor

T-Mobile Secretly Charged Users ‘Inconvenience Fee’ for Using T-Mobile

“I probably deserved to get ripped off for reading those texts about Tom Cruise’s third nipple. But to be charged extra for the added inconvenience of dropped calls and those interminable interactive voice-response menus?

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Nancy Grace Kidnaps, Returns Child For New HLN Reality Show ‘Where’s Your Kid?’

“Where’s Your Kid” is set to air throughout the summer Wednesday Nights at 9 p.m. on the HLN network.

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Third-Grader’s Student Loans Double as Cost of Bathroom Passes Skyrockets

Susan’s loan officer offered this advice, “Keep your assets liquid and don’t send your child to school with too many juice boxes.

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Florida Representative Ted Yoho Says African-Americans Should Only be Given ⅗ of a Vote

“It’s what God intended,” added Yoho.

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Apple Acquires “Beats” in Hopes Dr. Dre Will Finally Start Focusing on Detox

“Why is Dr. Dre making headphones anyway?” Cook asked. “Does he have a degree in electrical engineering from Carnegie Melon we don’t know about? Dre should be creating hip-hop masterpieces and changing the rap music landscape forever."

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Donald Sterling Appeals to Make-A-Wish Foundation to Retain Ownership of Clippers

“We try to take every wish we get seriously. We are an organization that is dedicated to making dreams come true.” Said CEO, David Williams.

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Treasury Moves to Back US Debt with Bitcoins, Fearing Default

“Right now, the sum is small potatoes compared to the nation’s debt,” noted Princeton economist Vincent Templeton, “but if the U.S. defaults without a solid backup currency in place, we may be reduced to trading in potatoes.”

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New York

Mayor Bloomberg to Appoint Cannibal Cop to “Look at Fat People Funny”

NEW YORK – An irate Mayor Bloomberg, stung by the last-minute blockage of his much-touted ban on the sale of large sugary drinks, threatened to appoint convicted “cannibal cop” Gilberto…

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