news and satire Archives

Homophobic Male Learns his ‘Wife’ is a Man

He went on to say that if he does indeed marry a woman “by mistake” again, he’ll be sure it’s in North Dakota, where the legal system goes easy on men who have trouble deciphering gender.

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Holder Calls for Lighter Drug Sentences If Defendant Offered to Share 2

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2 min

Holder Calls for Lighter Drug Sentences If Defendant Offered to Share

“When I heard about that, I was all, ‘see! The dude was just trying to spread the joy to his friend and he gets 25 big ones!’” said Holder, growing emotional. “That’s bogus!”

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GOP Unveils New Minority Outreach Spokesman, CPAC Shakur 3

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2 min

Politics

GOP Unveils New Minority Outreach Spokesman, CPAC Shakur

WASHINGTON — In the wake of this month’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Republican leaders today excitedly introduced to a collection of GOP lawmakers CPAC Shakur, a right-wing ‘rapper of…

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Washington State is Hiring, Potheads Finally Wanted 4

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2 min

Washington State is Hiring, Potheads Finally Wanted

TACOMA, Wa. — Washington State is looking for pot experts to advise them on marijuana and thousands of unemployed pot smokers and college students who will be unemployed in the…

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America to Lower Standards and Embrace Cheaters 5

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2 min

Sports

America to Lower Standards and Embrace Cheaters

NEW YORK — After years of demanding more from athletes in American sports, the public has spoken. Let them cheat. In a poll conducted by ESPN, an astounding 92% of…

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