“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes, leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”

“The Church wants to impress the world by getting tough on sex crimes, but they criminalized leaks, which is the only way anybody would ever discover their crimes. It’s genius, if you stop and think about it.”

“Unless, like many people, you consider trying to create a deadly weapon out of thin air as foul play, but it’s not the Austin Police Department’s role to make those kinds of decisions.”

“You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.” – Milton Berle

Members of the reunited Republican Guard were seen at a local rally for al-Maliki passing out novelty Saddam-style moustaches and campaign paraphernalia emblazoned with the slogan, “Yes, BaghDAD Can!”

“Most people think Islam is a religion, it’s not,” he said a crowd of Coweta County Tea Party Patriots in 2001. “It’s a totalitarian way of life with a religious component.”

“This could change the game,” he adds. “The Texas Board of Education would have no power to indoctrinate students with invalid information.”

Independent research from a non-governmental agency indicates that consumption of this blue cheese before bed is associated with especially outlandish dreams.