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Posts by tag

news humor satire

9 posts
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Kansas to Allow Schools to Beat Children

  • February 24, 2014
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
Kansas to Allow Schools to Beat Children 1
“If you hit kids when they’re small, for whatever reason you’re hitting them, you’re planting the idea that it’s OK to use pain to accomplish an end,” he said.
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FDA Approves ‘Pull-Out Method’ for Over the Counter Use 2
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  • 2 min
  • Today's Headlines
  • Uncategorized
  • US

FDA Approves ‘Pull-Out Method’ for Over the Counter Use

  • November 10, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
“Asking young teenagers to remember to wear a condom is one thing,” said Woodcock, “but asking them to exercise the kind of self control it takes to use the pull-out method would be disastrous.”
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Adult Entertainers Excited Obamacare covers Sex Toys 3
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  • 2 min
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Adult Entertainers Excited Obamacare covers Sex Toys

  • November 7, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • One comment
“Trust me,” she added. “A couple of free blow-up dolls on the taxpayers’ dime are a hell of a lot cheaper than another syphilis outbreak clogging up the ER.”
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Obamacare Kills 2, Wounds Dozens in First Week 4
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  • 2 min
  • Politics

Obamacare Kills 2, Wounds Dozens in First Week

  • October 2, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • 2 comments
“The greatest tragedy is that they never made it to the part where they buy insurance,” Secretary Sebelius said. “So they won’t be covered for these injuries.”
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D.C. May Decriminalize Pot to Reduce Criminal Convictions, ‘Piss Off Obama’ 5
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  • 2 min
  • DC

D.C. May Decriminalize Pot to Reduce Criminal Convictions, ‘Piss Off Obama’

  • July 15, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
When asked for comment, Mayor Vincent Gray declined to give his opinion on the legislation for fear of how President Obama, Congress or Wal-Mart would react.
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Taliban Enters Peace Talks, Promises To Only Terrorize Women, Infidels 6
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  • 2 min
  • World

Taliban Enters Peace Talks, Promises To Only Terrorize Women, Infidels

  • June 20, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • 2 comments
The official admitted that it may take a little while for the Taliban to get up to full terrorist speed. “We can’t be everywhere at once. Who do you think we are – the N.S.A.?”
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Congress Proposes Billions in Defense Spending That Pentagon Doesn’t Want 7
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  • 2 min
  • DC
  • Politics

Congress Proposes Billions in Defense Spending That Pentagon Doesn’t Want

  • May 8, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
WASHINGTON — In a move intended to shore up both national security and spur job creation, Republican congressman Jim Jordan this week proposed allocating $436 million for improvements to the…
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Obama Sure ‘Voicing His Concern' Will End Syrian Chemical Weapon Attacks 8
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  • 1 min
  • World

Obama Sure ‘Voicing His Concern’ Will End Syrian Chemical Weapon Attacks

  • May 7, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
WASHINGTON — In a phone call with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday, President Obama “voiced his concern” over reports that Syrian government forces have been using chemical weapons on their…
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