Opening the doors to the city’s armory, he continued, “If you don’t think we can handle the job, do it yourselves.”
“This is a total game-changer,” said Charles Payne, Varney’s co-host. “When I saw that ship stuck in ice, I thought, ‘My God—Stuart’s been right all along! The Earth is getting colder!’ That’s when I knew he should be recognized for his amazing insight.”
“I would say just by suggesting we take measures to save the lives of those God has damned is pretty darned presumptuous,” said Governor Fallin. “He has a plan for us all, and you better be damned sure it does not involve raising the corporate tax rate.”
It remains speculative if the pornography revelations and employment applications are connected, but reporters managed to catch up with one applicant who spoke of his sense of duty.
“It’s bad enough that most gentiles already think of Hanukkah as nothing more than Christmas for the Jews. Now the Jewish people have to contend with another made up holiday,” complained Netanyahu.
However, Limbaugh said that he would not lead the charge in people killing themselves as “that’s what Obama and Democrats would want,” and explained that he is “going to stay alive just to fight for everyone that died protesting Obamacare.”
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Dear Pissed Connections, I just started dating this total hottie and we’ve been taking things slow. Last night she finally invited me upstairs into her apartment, and I was thrilled. To thank her for letting me go up, I figured I’d go down… on her. Once things really heated up mid make-out session, I began unzipping her pants, only to realize the…
LOS ANGELES — Actor Damian Lewis, star of the popular TV show Homeland, has shocked Hollywood and officially come out as straight. The actor made his announcement Friday morning to a puzzled audience of friends, family and reporters. While most viewers know the actor only as his Homeland character Nicholas Brody, those close to Lewis have known about his heterosexuality for decades.…
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