Political Facebook Users Unsure What To Post After Election
MENLO PARK, Calif. — In a last-minute scramble before the election results came in, millions of Facebook idiots were trying to figure out what to post as a status once…
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Congress Throws $10m Party to Celebrate 8% Rise in Approval Ratings
WASHINGTON — The Senate and House of Representatives have green-lit plans for a lavish, luxurious $10 million party next week, in celebration of congressional approval ratings rising from 13% to…
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Syria Agrees to “Take a Breather From All the Murders” During Next Week’s “X Factor”
DAMASCUS, Syria – President Bashar al-Assad and the rebels fighting to oust him agreed last week to a ceasefire during the Muslim holiday Eid al-Adha, which celebrates the end of…
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Cops Shoot Unarmed Black Kid, Reporters Ask Parents For Most Thugged Out Picture
BRONX, N.Y. — Just minutes after NYPD officers shot and killed an unarmed 16-year-old teen in the Bronx, reporters showed up at his family’s home and asked for “the most…
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The NRA Announces New “Guns for Girls” Program
WASHINGTON — Citing a lack of advocacy or interest toward domestic abuse and violence against women, President of the NRA, David Keene announced the introduction of a new “Guns for…
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Romney Concession Speech Leaked
BELMONT, Mass. – My fellow Americans, I would like to thank you for the support I have received throughout my campaign for the presidency. While it did not lead to…
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Voters Back Romney, Just to See a Chris Matthews Meltdown
NEW YORK — Chris Matthews’ explosive meltdown after the first Presidential debate in Denver was not only shocking, but also incredibly entertaining. Matthew’s hair was ruffled. His eyes were so…
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Sean Hannity’s Apocalyptic Narrative of an Obama Reelection
NEW YORK — In preparation for a close election one of FOX News’s most extreme pundits and commentators, Sean Hannity, is hard at work constructing his narrative for a possible…
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