“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes, leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”
“I’ve always felt we were kindred spirits. I, too, recently used a superlaser to destroy peaceful planet.”
“At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.”
“There’s a decay growing in this system, and Rep. Steve Stockman will get to the root of it!”
“Frankly, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “I have lots of rich friends who love poor people. I mean we hire poor people to cook our meals, do our laundry, raise our kids. You can’t feel anything but compassion for your live-in staff. If the Pope had servants of his own, he’d understand all this.”
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“It’s getting harder and harder to lure children away from the straight lifestyle,” Roberts added. “Putin’s got Russia on lockdown, and you can forget about China. Even if we could get into North Korea, would we want to?”
He went on to say that if he does indeed marry a woman “by mistake” again, he’ll be sure it’s in North Dakota, where the legal system goes easy on men who have trouble deciphering gender.