Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’
“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes, leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”
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Newslo satire
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Presidential Candidates Cultivating ‘More Evil’ Images in Hopes of Winning White House
“I’ve always felt we were kindred spirits. I, too, recently used a superlaser to destroy peaceful planet.”
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#NNTS: Maine Republican regrets saying men should rape women if abortion is legal
“At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.”
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Rep. Steve Stockman Endorsed by Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, and Lucky Charms Leprechaun
“There’s a decay growing in this system, and Rep. Steve Stockman will get to the root of it!”
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Home Depot Founder Says Next Pope Should Be a Rich American
“Frankly, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “I have lots of rich friends who love poor people. I mean we hire poor people to cook our meals, do our laundry, raise our kids. You can’t feel anything but compassion for your live-in staff. If the Pope had servants of his own, he’d understand all this.”
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Pharmaceutical Executives: ‘Prescription Drugs Not Addictive Enough’
Pfizer, a competitor, has launched its own campaign: “The first dose is free.™”
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Uganda Deals Crippling Blow to Homosexual Recruiting
“It’s getting harder and harder to lure children away from the straight lifestyle,” Roberts added. “Putin’s got Russia on lockdown, and you can forget about China. Even if we could get into North Korea, would we want to?”
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Homophobic Male Learns his ‘Wife’ is a Man
He went on to say that if he does indeed marry a woman “by mistake” again, he’ll be sure it’s in North Dakota, where the legal system goes easy on men who have trouble deciphering gender.
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