Newslo sports satire and humor

Sports

NFL to Replace Kickoffs with “Moments of Silence

NEW YORK — In the wake of the tragic shootings in Connecticut and the recent murder-suicide of Kasandra M. Perkins by Kansas City linebacker Jovan Belcher, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell…

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Sports

Big East Adds Madrasas: Uses Holy War Narrative to Negotiate Bigger TV Deal

NEW YORK — With seven Catholic schools leaving the Big East, including league stalwarts Georgetown and Villanova, the conference is looking to add seven Muslim Madrasas. The departing schools will…

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Sports

NHL Lockout Will Continue for as Long as it Takes to Ruin the Sport

ISELIN, N.J. — In an interview following Wednesday’s meeting between the NHL and the National Hockey League Players’ Association (NHLPA), NHL commissioner Gary Bettman maintained that the NHL won’t give…

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Sports

Greinke Excited About Never Playing Hard Again After Big Payday

LOS ANGELES — The day has finally arrived for pitcher Zack Greinke to realize that all those long, miserable years with the Kansas City Royals were worth it. Greinke recently…

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Sports

NFL Hopes Fans Will Remain Apathetic About Player Safety

DENVER — In an interview Sunday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell expressed optimism that, over the remaining two months of the season, fans across America will continue to ignore the messy ethical…

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