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Posts by tag

news man

19 posts
  • US

California Pot Growers Unite for ‘Hydroponic Aid’ Fundraiser

  • August 12, 2014
  • News Lo
ANTI MARIJUANA ACTIVIST
For “my man, Willie,” Allman was willing to look the other way—and donate the department’s water cooler to the cause.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Poll: For President, Americans Prefer Cheaters, Druggies over Atheists

  • May 23, 2014
  • News Lo
white-house
“Without God, there is literally nothing to stop a president from cannibalizing the nation’s children one by one,” noted Kevin Moore of Erie, Pennsylvania.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Organizers Declare 7 Billion Show Up for Operation American Spring Rally in Washington

  • May 18, 2014
  • News Lo
“As a matter of health and safety, we spaced the participants out to ensure our message reaches the four corners of the globe,” said Riley.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Ted Cruz’s Father Says UN Wants Your Bodily Fluids

  • March 17, 2014
  • News Lo
“The human body is 70% water, and Agenda 21 - so-named because it refers to the 21% of the body not made of water- is a plot to control that 70%. Don’t let them control your 70%!”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

CIA Secret Polish Jail Getting Great Airbnb Reviews

  • January 27, 2014
  • News Lo
“Due to the rave reviews this property is receiving,” a company spokesperson said, “we are in serious negations with the U.S. government in an attempt to rent out rooms at Guantanamo Bay.. ”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Amazon To Provide Customers Hit by UPS, FedEx Delays with Complimentary Sweatshop Workers

  • December 31, 2013
  • News Lo
Jeff Bezos
“This is why I love Amazon,” said Chicago resident Randy Klopeck, a proud member of Amazon Prime, the service that guarantees two-day-shipping of products. “They don’t make excuses; they solve problems.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Vatican Paints over Sistine Chapel Ceiling, Calling It ‘Too Lavish’

  • November 5, 2013
  • News Lo
Vatican
Asked about the loss of priceless works of art that were recently restored at the cost of millions of dollars, a Vatican spokesperson pointed reporters to the gift shop where there are “many postcards and reprints for sale.”
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  • US

Nation Dismisses Education Report, Notes America Still World Leader in Sports

  • October 11, 2013
  • News Lo
The Department of Education announced today that America was still the world’s pre-eminent leader in athletics, and that “only nerds read international education reports, anyway.”
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  • Entertainment

Jack Ryan Dead at 63

  • October 2, 2013
  • News Lo
“Jack Ryan is the worst thing to happen to America since John Rambo,” Eliot continued. “Or at least since Dick Cheney.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Detroit Police Announce Capture of Escaped Inmate: ‘Only 39 to go’

  • September 16, 2013
  • News Lo
Vanity Ballroom Floor
"I can’t speak for the people who commit the 70 percent of murders that go unsolved. But if you have been processed through the justice system, escaped, and are running loose, your time is limited. Usually.”
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  • NoNeedToSatirize

#NNTS: Fox News guest: ‘That’s a teaching moment’ when hungry students don’t get school lunches

  • September 5, 2013
  • News Lo
fox ff school lunch
A Fox News guest on Thursday argued that hungry students would have a “teaching moment” if they were refused access in the cafeteria line to school lunches because their parents…
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

North Dakota Opens ‘All-Inclusive’ White Supremacist Resort

  • September 4, 2013
  • News Lo
Both Linder and Metzger are reasonably happy with their accommodations, which feature plenty of arable land, antique wicker furniture, and decorative Nazi memorabilia.
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  • NoNeedToSatirize

#NNTS: Former Cheney aide demands Syria ‘exit strategy’ from Obama

  • September 1, 2013
  • News Lo
"What is the exit strategy? None of these questions are answered.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Multi-City Bull Running Tour Proves Economy Healed

  • August 30, 2013
  • News Lo
“It seems as if times are bullish indeed,” added Krugman.
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  • New York

Anthony Weiner Denies Rumors of ‘Dating’ App Profile

  • August 30, 2013
  • News Lo
Scandal-plagued New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has refused to respond to rumors that a recently deleted profile on the popular hook-up app Tinder belongs to him.
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  • DC

I Spot A Crony: NRA’s Top Scholarship Winners of 2012

  • August 27, 2013
  • News Lo
i SPOT A CRONY wayne lapierre
Congratulations to all the NRA’s scholarship winners! You really know how to keep your deep-pocketed constituents happy.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Ironically, Europe Calls For ‘More Germans’

  • August 19, 2013
  • News Lo
Angela Merkel
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we need more Germans,” said Felipe Renoir, who was a boy in France when Germany invaded the country in World War II.
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  • Media
  • Today's Headlines

News in August is Quiet, Almost….Too Quiet

  • August 16, 2013
  • News Lo
More recently, Stengel has dispatched an investigative team to Denmark to report on a testicle biting fish.
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  • US

‘Kids for Cash’ Judge Sentenced to Become World’s First Human Piñata

  • August 9, 2013
  • News Lo
PHILADELPHIA — A Pennsylvania judge who was involved in a “Kids for Cash” scheme unsuccessfully appealed his racketeering conviction this week, and is himself facing what legal experts are calling…
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