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Posts by tag

News satire and humor

21 posts
  • NoNeedToSatirize
  • Today's Headlines

#NNTS: NH lawmaker: Women deserve less pay because they don’t work hard like men

  • April 24, 2014
  • News Lo
“Men, by and large, make more because some of the things that they do,” he opined. “Their jobs are, by and large, riskier. They don’t mind working nights and weekends. They don’t mind working overtime or outdoors.”
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  • Blogs
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

10 Lottery Winners Who Won It All and Lived Brokely Ever After

  • December 17, 2013
  • News Lo
With determination and a fair amount of luck, anyone can join this fine group of inspiring lottery success stories.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Americans Vaguely Aware of Some Storm or Something in the Philippines

  • November 11, 2013
  • News Lo
“Yeah, I read about that on this one guy’s blog,” said Walter Hammand of Kansas City, Missouri. “Some big storm, right? Real nasty, just like Superstorm Sandy.”
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  • Blogs
  • Today's Headlines

13 Reasons Why We Can’t Stop Making Stupid Fu*ken Lists

  • September 24, 2013
  • News Lo
You are more likely to read this, statistically speaking, if I organize this article in list form
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Egyptian Raids Fail to Yield Any Panties

  • August 16, 2013
  • News Lo
No witnesses reported seeing authorities cart away boxes – or even handfuls – of activists’ panties.
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  • Media
  • Today's Headlines

News in August is Quiet, Almost….Too Quiet

  • August 16, 2013
  • News Lo
More recently, Stengel has dispatched an investigative team to Denmark to report on a testicle biting fish.
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  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

Doctor Claims Obamacare Requires Universal Chemotherapy for Sick and Healthy Alike

  • August 16, 2013
  • News Lo
“Now, neither Dr. Fata nor I read through all 10,000 pages of the regulations, but the stench of government overreach is unmistakable.”
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  • Media

Boston Globe Sold to Red Sox Owner Following Reports of Doped Up News Cycle

  • August 8, 2013
  • News Lo
The fanfare surrounding the paper’s return to local ownership largely eclipsed the tacit admission of an otherwise open secret long held by owners of broadsheets.
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  • Sports

Limbaugh Backs Receiver’s Racist Comment, Cautions Country Music Fans

  • August 2, 2013
  • News Lo
riley cooper racist comment
“My only advice to you, Riley Cooper, is that you don’t pronounce the “r” at the end,” concluded Limbaugh. “Apparently that makes it worse to them. Even when you’re at a country music concert.”
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  • US

Nation Wonders: Have Whistleblowers Gone Extinct?

  • July 31, 2013
  • News Lo
"I thought I saw a whistleblower just the other day, when I was visiting Moscow. But then my friend told me that, technically, what we’d seen has been classified as a traitor. What a let-down!"
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  • Media

Fox News Accuses Muslim Of Knowing Who Jesus Is

  • July 28, 2013
  • News Lo
It is not yet clear how long the author has used his Christian family to shield his Islamic faith from the public. Authorities say that if Aslan’s family wishes to seek protection, they should do so now in order to avoid any potential connection to terrorist activity.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Va. Governor Returns Donations, Clearing his Name

  • July 24, 2013
  • News Lo
Bob McDonnell
Federal and state investigators are still looking into the Williams-McDonnell gifts, though they will surely stop once they hear he’s sorry.
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  • NoNeedToSatirize

#NoNeedToSatirize: Limbaugh: ‘It’s preposterous that Caucasians are blamed for slavery’

  • July 22, 2013
  • News Lo
abc limbaugh
“If any race of people should not have guilt about slavery, it’s Caucasians. The white race has probably had fewer slaves and for a briefer period of time than any other in the history of the world.”
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  • US

Zimmerman Wants to Become a Lawyer Because ‘Why the Hell Not?

  • July 19, 2013
  • News Lo
Zimmerman
I’ll probably bomb the shit out of it, get rejected from every school under the sun except for Florida’s unaccredited ones – I’m looking at you, Law and Order Binge-Watching Institute of Orlando -- then start my own practice,” Zimmerman said with pride.
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  • US

U.S. Pins Hopes to Regain World’s Fattest Nation Status on Return of Twinkies

  • July 19, 2013
  • News Lo
sexy-obesity
“With the return of the Twinkie,” he concluded, “America will not only be the Greatest Nation on Earth – but also the Greatest Nation in Girth.”
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  • NoNeedToSatirize

#NoNeedToSatirize: Robertson warns on LGBT marriages: God could do something ‘drastic’

  • June 27, 2013
  • News Lo
“Look what happened to Sodom. After a while, there wasn’t any other way, and God did something pretty drastic.”
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  • US

SCOTUS Throws Gays a Bone in Attempt to Get Everyone to Quit Harping on Voting Rights Decision

  • June 26, 2013
  • News Lo
Supreme-court
Justice Stephen Breyer took the moment to interject, “Yesterday all the Democrats hated us, today all the Republicans hate us. So now everybody hates us. Nice going, Anthony. Christ, grow a spine.”
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  • World

Brazilian Protests Could Spark Rrrrrrrevolution!

  • June 21, 2013
  • News Lo
brazil
They seek to reduce corruption and fight official repression; they also seek to dance, dance, dance.
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  • NoNeedToSatirize

#NoNeedToSatirize: Florida man beaten, left naked in cow pasture on first date

  • June 18, 2013
  • News Lo
“Are you serious?” Williams replied.
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  • Politics

Cool Guy Rubio Name Drops Jay-Z During Filibuster, Then Calls For Investigation of His Vacation

  • April 11, 2013
  • News Lo
WASHINGTON — During the twelfth hour of a filibuster initiated by Kentucky Senator Rand Paul last Wednesday, Florida Senator and real cool guy Marco Rubio took the floor to draw…
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  • US

Death Row Inmates to Begin Patrolling Arizona Schools

  • January 16, 2013
  • News Lo
PHOENIX — In response to the recent wave of public shootings, every school Arizona will be patrolled by what Sheriff Joe Arpaio has called “a super chain gang” made up…
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