The research, funded by the Fox News Partnership for a Post-Feminist Society, offers great promise in the race to cure the nation’s “wimps, wussies, metrosexuals, and latte-sipping progressives” of their dangerous weaknesses.
Michael Crane said that for him, such proof could only come from one source. “Until my pastor says evolution is real, I will keep questioning the validity of so-called science,” Crane said. “It would be intellectually lazy to do otherwise.”
“These people have been camping out here, waiting ‘til the first. They’ve been eating like bears, so business is good, but it’s starting to smell like patchouli in here, and it’s scaring away the other customers.”
So Onyango Okech Obama was dumbfounded when he received a curt request from White House Press Secretary Jay Carney to “politely self-deport back to Kenya so as not to create yet another headache for B.O.”