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Posts by tag

news

161 posts
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

George Zimmerman: ‘I’m Just Famous for being Famous – So Basically Kim Kardashian’

  • February 20, 2014
  • News Lo
George Zimmerman
“I’m in the same position as Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, where I’m pretty much just famous for being famous. No one knows how I got here."
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  • US

CVS Halts Sales of Candy, Vitamins, Other ‘Unhealthy Crap’

  • February 5, 2014
  • News Lo
“This is a great example of how we’re evolving from a retail company to a health care company,” said Helena Foulkes, CVS’s executive vice president.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

UN Mediator Holds Syrian Peace Talks to High Standard of Failure

  • January 30, 2014
  • News Lo
“If we get one photo op out of this that is as beautiful as the Rabin-Arafat handshake, I will consider this to be a success, facts on the ground be damned,” said a cautiously optimistic Lakhdar.
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  • US

Fearing Terrorism, US Olympians to Compete in Sochi Disguised as Canadians

  • January 28, 2014
  • News Lo
“It’s just the safe thing to do,” said Snowboarder Shaun White, who will be donning the Canadian uniform while representing the United States.
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Justin Bieber Deported Over DUI

  • January 23, 2014
  • News Lo
justin biebers mug shot released
“I swear I will never do anything bad again. Just please don’t make me go back to Canada! Please! Sweet mother of God, you don’t know what it’s like! It’s Hell up there! Hell!”
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  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

GOP Congressman Claims Wives Should Voluntarily Submit to Their Husbands For Oral Sex

  • January 23, 2014
  • News Lo
Steve Pearce
"The principle is among the most controversial of all directives coming from the Bible," he writes in the book. "Many of my friends dealt with the directive by ignoring it… Or, well, their wives did."
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  • Media

Hannity to Leave Internet Over Cuomo’s Mean Tweet

  • January 22, 2014
  • News Lo
fox hannity obama birther
"But when I saw [Governor] Cuomo’s tweet bad-mouthing conservatives like me.. well I can’t wait to leave the Internet once and for all. I really can’t.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US
  • Video

Video: This Week In News: Christie Scandal, Lesbian Love, and Child Porn

  • January 20, 2014
  • News Lo
Why wait until Friday for this week's news...
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  • NoNeedToSatirize
  • Today's Headlines

#NNTS: Va. GOP candidate: Spousal rape isn’t a crime if she is ‘wearing a nightie’

  • January 15, 2014
  • News Lo
“I do not know how you could validly get a conviction of a husband-wife rape, when they’re living together, sleeping in the same bed, she’s in a nightie and so forth,” Black says. “There’s not injuries, there’s no separation or anything.”
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  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

Poorest Members of Congress Demand $1 million Congressional Minimum Wage

  • January 14, 2014
  • News Lo
“It is not unreasonable for us to encourage the poorest among our citizenry to pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” Fincher said, “and this bill is merely doing the same thing. Bootstraps just happen to be very expensive these days.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Axe Agrees to Convert Syria’s Chemical Weapons into Body Spray

  • January 7, 2014
  • News Lo
“Axe: Nerves of Steel” will be manufactured in accordance with the original plan to neutralize the weapons at sea by an American military ship.
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  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

HealthCare.gov Customers Enjoy New Benefits, Microsoft Zune Music Passes

  • January 6, 2014
  • News Lo
Assuring the nation that the problematic rollout of the Affordable Care Act “will not be another Windows Vista” has proven difficult for DelBene, who has attempted to sweeten the deal by adding extra perks to the package of benefits.
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  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

Republican Senate Candidate Hopeful Wife-Beating Conviction Will Propel Him to Upset

  • January 6, 2014
  • News Lo
shocked-lady
“Then it becomes my word verses hers and all the evidence against me. What a crock.”
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Robin Roberts Comes Out As Greatly Inspiring

  • December 31, 2013
  • News Lo
robin-roberts
She just wants to continue spotlighting the hardships experienced by Americans so that the country can rally to their aid. Her courage and sympathy were both on display when she anchored a series of poignant reports from a Gulf still reeling from Hurricane Katrina in 2005.
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

A&E Exec.: We Can Only Care About Gays for So Long

  • December 29, 2013
  • News Lo
“Do you think we really care either way?” asked the executive. “He could have said that God hates panda bears and white children for all we care. We’re not throwing away fifteen million viewers a week because this guy has some unpopular opinions.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Syrian Government Admits Latest Bombing Campaign Is Just for Attention

  • December 27, 2013
  • News Lo
Bombed out vehicles Aleppo
Although the bombings have drawn condemnation from Human Rights Watch, the United Nations, and even the White House, Haidar said that Assad’s regime will not rest until it has “dropped enough bombs to win back the admiration of Western media outlets like CNN and Fox.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Indian Diplomat Stopped and Frisked in New York

  • December 18, 2013
  • News Lo
"If they are not going to look out for our country's representatives why should we look out for theirs?" said India's Deputy Foreign Minister Preneet Kaur.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Oklahoma GOP Call Plan for School Tornado Shelters ‘Interfering with God’s Will’

  • December 17, 2013
  • News Lo
“I would say just by suggesting we take measures to save the lives of those God has damned is pretty darned presumptuous,” said Governor Fallin. “He has a plan for us all, and you better be damned sure it does not involve raising the corporate tax rate.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

North Korea Deletes Facebook, LinkedIn of Purged Uncle

  • December 16, 2013
  • News Lo
North Korea
“I heard the reports, so I feared the worst, but sometimes it isn’t real until their LinkedIn page is gone, you know?” Pak added.
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Kim K Tweets Tribute Selfie for Nelson Mandela

  • December 5, 2013
  • News Lo
“Never met NM,” Kardashian tweeted. “But were a kindred spirit [sic]. We both dedicated our lives to makin’ this a better world.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Netanyahu Blasts America for Allowing Thanksgiving to ‘Take Over’ Hanukkah

  • November 25, 2013
  • News Lo
“It’s bad enough that most gentiles already think of Hanukkah as nothing more than Christmas for the Jews. Now the Jewish people have to contend with another made up holiday,” complained Netanyahu.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Koch Brothers Bankroll Attempt to Prevent Voter Fraud by Canceling Election Day

  • November 25, 2013
  • News Lo
“By doing away with the vote in Wallsburg, David and Charles have completely eliminated the threat of voter fraud,” said the official.
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

This Week in Entertainment: Gaga Goes La-La, ‘Hunger Games’ and Is ‘Call of Duty’ Turning into a Ghost?

  • November 15, 2013
  • News Lo
North Korea
“OMG so excited for Catching Fire!!” tweeted one fan on Thursday. “I SO wish I was Katniss, Peeta is THE CUTEST!!! lol This slaughterfest is going to be #amazeballs.”
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  • Media
  • Today's Headlines

Seeking Revenge, Dan Rather Planted Erroneous Benghazi ’60 Minutes’ Story

  • November 14, 2013
  • News Lo
“I couldn’t stop laughing,” said Dan Rather, former anchor of the CBS Evening News. “It was a humdinger of a practical joke—one that was years in the making. A word to the wise: nobody messes with Rather and gets away with it. Nobody.”
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