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Posts by tag

newslo and humor

11 posts
  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Robin Thicke’s Latest Video Attempts to “Get Her Back” Through Ritualized Stalking

  • June 25, 2014
  • News Lo
In the new video, Thicke tells the camera, “Paula is my life. If I can’t have her, no one can.” It then immediately cuts to Thicke watching the live feed from the hidden camera in Patton’s bedroom.
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  • Sports
  • Today's Headlines

Warren Buffett To Watch NCAA Tournament Through Crystal Orb

  • March 20, 2014
  • News Lo
Jing Ulrich and Warren Buffett
“The picture-in-picture on this thing is the best,” said Buffett.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Christie Vows to Do Better Job Covering Up Lies in Second Term

  • January 24, 2014
  • News Lo
"I feel my office should’ve done a better job of ensuring she never had a chance to talk to the press, if you know what I mean. I’ll just leave it that.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Al Qaeda Apologizes for Hospital Attack, Pledges Christmas Gifts for all Yemeni Children

  • December 25, 2013
  • News Lo
There's a first time for everything….
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  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Duck Dynasty Star’s Computer Filled with Gay Porn

  • December 22, 2013
  • News Lo
“They spent a lot of time together. I’m not sure exactly what they did when they hung out, but whatever it was, Phil suddenly wanted to devour gay porn tapes like a monster,” said his friend.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Michigan: Abortion Insurance Rates Based on Hotness

  • December 16, 2013
  • News Lo
Abortion
“Listen, if you want to call me or members of the legislature (of which approximately 80% are men) misogynistic, then that’s fine,” said Richardville. “But know this. Women can just as easily fight back for more affordable insurance rates."
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

North Korea Deletes Facebook, LinkedIn of Purged Uncle

  • December 16, 2013
  • News Lo
Abortion
“I heard the reports, so I feared the worst, but sometimes it isn’t real until their LinkedIn page is gone, you know?” Pak added.
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  • Sports
  • Today's Headlines

SEC Believes It Is One BCS Championship Away From Winning The Civil War

  • December 13, 2013
  • News Lo
Abortion
“All the real southerners are at the University of Florida. Florida State is for northern carpet bagging profiteers. It may as well be Boston College.”
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  • Media
  • Today's Headlines

CNN Rebranded as ‘CNN Jr.’, News for People with Limited Attention Spans

  • December 9, 2013
  • News Lo
“Reliable Sources” will be replaced with “I Think I Read Something on Twitter…,” Candy Crowley will host “Schizophrenic States,” and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” will cohost “The Situation Room” with Blitzer.
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Makers of Weight-Sensitive Morning-After Pill Say Heavier Women Don’t Have Sex Anyway

  • November 27, 2013
  • News Lo
Abortion
“Something isn’t adding up here,” Jefferson posited. “We didn’t even know that there were French women who weighed that much, so we’re not sure what their research is based on.”
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  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Putin Grants Snowden Asylum After Confirming It Would Not Look Gay

  • August 7, 2013
  • News Lo
The Russian president reiterated that leaking sensitive information was “totally cool with him,” so long as Snowden didn’t engage in any “gay stuff.”
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