#NNTS: Police: British spy found sealed in bag in bathtub died accidentally
Metropolitan Police Deputy Assistant Commissioner Martin Hewitt dismissed the idea that British intelligence services were involved in Williams’s death.
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Newslo’s NoNeedToSatirize
22 posts
#NNTS: Rafael Cruz: Atheism leads to child molestation and perversity
“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes,” he went on, “leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”
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#NNTS: Tony Perkins wants the ‘liberty’ to deny birth control: ‘That’s why the Pilgrims came here’
Family Research Council President Tony Perkins on Monday argued that companies should have the religious freedom to deny contraception coverage for women because “that’s why the Pilgrims came here.”
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#NNTS: Tucker Carlson outraged by Obama climate change plan: Earth is ‘getting cooler’
“The president’s science adviser, John Holdren, is essentially a fruitcake,” Bell agreed.
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#NNTS: Cruz: GOP lost because they didn’t accuse Dems of holding children ‘hostage’
“That’s a fight we could win because their position was unreasonable.”
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#NNTS: Gohmert: Congress-caused default is ‘an impeachable offense by the president’
“No, that would be an impeachable offense by the president,” Gohmert declared.
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#NNTS: Ted Cruz: Obama will ‘start quartering soldiers in people’s homes soon’
“I don’t know that they’ve yet violated the Third Amendment, but I expect them to start quartering soldiers in people’s homes soon,” the Texas Republican said.
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#NNTS: Sen. Coburn denies default risk: ‘There’s no such thing as a debt ceiling’
“The debt ceiling and the CR are the same thing,” he explained.
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#NNTS: KKK rally at Gettysburg Civil War site canceled due to government shutdown
Ku Klux Klan (KKK) members hoping to rally on Saturday at Gettysburg, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of the U.S. Civil War, were disappointed when their plans…
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Sen. Kent Lambert: “Democrats using ‘mind control’ to make people accept ‘homosexuals’”
“There are no waivers or provisions for any contrary thought, whether it’s religion or people’s expression of their own morality”
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#NNTS: Pastor blames Colorado floods on abortion, weed and ‘decadent homosexual activity’
“Is it a coincidence that this was the worst year politically in the history of Colorado, at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics?” he asked. “Our legislators committed homosexual acts on the front page of the Denver Post, do you remember that?”
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#NNTS: Fox News analyst: Income disparity exists ‘because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey’
“You want to see why the rich get richer? Because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey. Even though they’re stuffed to the gills, they’re gonna run to the mall and spend every nickel they have. I’m being honest with you.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: McCain feels a ‘little lonely’ because nobody wants to attack Syria
“You know, it’s felt a little lonely from time to time,” McCain admitted, pointing out that former President Harry Truman’s approval rating sunk down to the 20s during the Korean War.
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#NNTS: Former Cheney aide demands Syria ‘exit strategy’ from Obama
"What is the exit strategy? None of these questions are answered.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Rumsfeld: Obama hasn’t justified Syria attack
Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Wednesday night that President Barack Obama had not done enough to justify an attack on Syria.
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Deadbeat dad Joe Walsh has ‘a dream’ Black men won’t be deadbeat dads
“I have a dream that young unmarried black women will say “no” to young black men who want to have sex. I have a dream that today’s black leadership will quit blaming racism and “the system” for what ails black America.”
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#NNTS Gun lobbyist: Obamacare will force gun owners to have electroshock therapy
“Well, I think part of that is what we’re seeing in Obamacare,” Pratt agreed. “This is going to be what you’re talking about several times over.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Radio hosts: Gay Boy Scouts will get merit badges for sodomy, incest and cannibalism
“And after that, I guess it’s incest,” Swanson agreed. “After that, I guess it’s the cannibal merit badge, where I guess you cut up human flesh, fry it.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Beck ‘historian’ David Barton: Global warming has been over for 16 years
“For example, in the math area, they tell you what math things to teach, but they only give you a single example,” he explained. “And the math you have to calculate deals with global warming.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Steve King: We might not notice ‘if sea levels go up 4 or 6 inches’
“It is not proven, it’s not science,” he insisted. “It’s more of a religion than a science.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize:Republican rep.: Obamacare ‘racist’ because white people use tanning beds
Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) recently told a group of constituents that he backing a birther bill because he hoped that it would “get rid of everything” that President Barack Obama…
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Fox host: Feeding hungry seniors is ‘called buying votes’
“It’s called buying votes,” Varney opined on Tuesday. “It’s happening in Pennsylvania, Georgia, a couple of other states.”
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