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#NNTS: Police: British spy found sealed in bag in bathtub died accidentally

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize November 14, 2013

Metropolitan Police Deputy Assistant Commissioner Martin Hewitt dismissed the idea that British intelligence services were involved in Williams’s death.

#NNTS: Rafael Cruz: Atheism leads to child molestation and perversity

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines November 13, 2013
Disappointed shutterstock copy

“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes,” he went on, “leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”

#NNTS: Tony Perkins wants the ‘liberty’ to deny birth control: ‘That’s why the Pilgrims came here’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines November 11, 2013

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins on Monday argued that companies should have the religious freedom to deny contraception coverage for women because “that’s why the Pilgrims came here.”

#NNTS: Tucker Carlson outraged by Obama climate change plan: Earth is ‘getting cooler’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines November 3, 2013

“The president’s science adviser, John Holdren, is essentially a fruitcake,” Bell agreed.

#NNTS: Cruz: GOP lost because they didn’t accuse Dems of holding children ‘hostage’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines October 21, 2013
cnn sotu cruz children

“That’s a fight we could win because their position was unreasonable.”

#NNTS: Gohmert: Congress-caused default is ‘an impeachable offense by the president’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize October 14, 2013
Gohmert

“No, that would be an impeachable offense by the president,” Gohmert declared.

#NNTS: Ted Cruz: Obama will ‘start quartering soldiers in people’s homes soon’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize October 11, 2013

“I don’t know that they’ve yet violated the Third Amendment, but I expect them to start quartering soldiers in people’s homes soon,” the Texas Republican said.

#NNTS: Sen. Coburn denies default risk: ‘There’s no such thing as a debt ceiling’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize October 7, 2013
Defense gov

“The debt ceiling and the CR are the same thing,” he explained.

#NNTS: KKK rally at Gettysburg Civil War site canceled due to government shutdown

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize October 1, 2013
KKK

Ku Klux Klan (KKK) members hoping to rally on Saturday at Gettysburg, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of the U.S. Civil War, were disappointed when their plans were scuttled by a government shutdown. Amid public outrage, the National Parks…


Sen. Kent Lambert: “Democrats using ‘mind control’ to make people accept ‘homosexuals’”

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 24, 2013

“There are no waivers or provisions for any contrary thought, whether it’s religion or people’s expression of their own morality”

#NNTS: Pastor blames Colorado floods on abortion, weed and ‘decadent homosexual activity’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 20, 2013

“Is it a coincidence that this was the worst year politically in the history of Colorado, at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics?” he asked. “Our legislators committed homosexual acts on the front page of the Denver Post, do you remember that?”

#NNTS: Fox News analyst: Income disparity exists ‘because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 19, 2013

“You want to see why the rich get richer? Because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey. Even though they’re stuffed to the gills, they’re gonna run to the mall and spend every nickel they have. I’m being honest with you.”

#NoNeedToSatirize: McCain feels a ‘little lonely’ because nobody wants to attack Syria

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 16, 2013

“You know, it’s felt a little lonely from time to time,” McCain admitted, pointing out that former President Harry Truman’s approval rating sunk down to the 20s during the Korean War.

#NNTS: Former Cheney aide demands Syria ‘exit strategy’ from Obama

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 1, 2013

“What is the exit strategy? None of these questions are answered.”

#NoNeedToSatirize: Rumsfeld: Obama hasn’t justified Syria attack

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 29, 2013

Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Wednesday night that President Barack Obama had not done enough to justify an attack on Syria.

#NoNeedToSatirize: Deadbeat dad Joe Walsh has ‘a dream’ Black men won’t be deadbeat dads

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 28, 2013

“I have a dream that young unmarried black women will say “no” to young black men who want to have sex. I have a dream that today’s black leadership will quit blaming racism and “the system” for what ails black America.”

#NNTS Gun lobbyist: Obamacare will force gun owners to have electroshock therapy

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines August 23, 2013

“Well, I think part of that is what we’re seeing in Obamacare,” Pratt agreed. “This is going to be what you’re talking about several times over.”

#NoNeedToSatirize: Radio hosts: Gay Boy Scouts will get merit badges for sodomy, incest and cannibalism

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines August 20, 2013
#NoNeedToSatirize

“And after that, I guess it’s incest,” Swanson agreed. “After that, I guess it’s the cannibal merit badge, where I guess you cut up human flesh, fry it.”

#NoNeedToSatirize: Beck ‘historian’ David Barton: Global warming has been over for 16 years

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 14, 2013

“For example, in the math area, they tell you what math things to teach, but they only give you a single example,” he explained. “And the math you have to calculate deals with global warming.”

#NoNeedToSatirize: Steve King: We might not notice ‘if sea levels go up 4 or 6 inches’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 8, 2013

“It is not proven, it’s not science,” he insisted. “It’s more of a religion than a science.”

#NoNeedToSatirize:Republican rep.: Obamacare ‘racist’ because white people use tanning beds

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 5, 2013
Tanning bed in use

Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) recently told a group of constituents that he backing a birther bill because he hoped that it would “get rid of everything” that President Barack Obama had done, and then added that the president’s “racist” health care…


#NoNeedToSatirize: Fox host: Feeding hungry seniors is ‘called buying votes’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize July 30, 2013

“It’s called buying votes,” Varney opined on Tuesday. “It’s happening in Pennsylvania, Georgia, a couple of other states.”

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