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FDA Warns That Drug Advertising Suffers From High-Testosterone

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US September 24, 2014

“Sure, my wife risks growing facial hair and my children risk early puberty if they are accidentally exposed to my AndroGel, but I’m a man. I’m supposed to take unnecessary risks on behalf of my family.”

George Zimmerman Threatens to ‘Go All Trayvon’ During Road Rage Incident

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US September 13, 2014
George Zimmerman

“Mr. Zimmerman said he had been suspicious of the individual and wanted to ensure the safety of the neighborhood,” said the police spokesperson.

BP, Haliburton Win Bid to Reclaim Oil Lost in 2010 Gulf Coast Spill

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US September 12, 2014

Well, I was out there like two days ago and you know what I saw? Dolphins swimming up to the remaining oil patches, covering their fins in black gold—that’s what! Now in the America I know, that’s called theft.”

Pat Robertson Says God Wants Guns In Church

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US September 11, 2014
pat robertson

“You want to go to church to praise the Lord. You don’t want to go to church to shoot people or to get shot.” he continued. “But you also want to be ready with a well-oiled AK-47 when you need it.”

America’s Racial Tolerance at Lowest Level Since Release of ‘Thriller,’ SPLC Warns

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Entertainment, Today's Headlines August 20, 2014

“If these trends continue, America might find itself at ‘Off the Wall’ levels of racial harmony by the end of the decade.”

Defense Department Admits It Thought Police Were Buying Military Equipment as Collectors’ Items

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo DC, Today's Headlines August 17, 2014

“When I first saw the pictures [of the police in Ferguson wearing military armor], I assumed this was in Afghanistan or the Ukraine or something,” admitted Work.

Bill O’Reilly Warns That Supreme Court is One Liberal Justice Away From Forced Abortions

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Media, Today's Headlines July 1, 2014

“One more liberal justice,” he repeated, shaking his head in horror. “Just one more liberal Supreme Court justice and freedom dies.”

After Anthrax Scare, CDC Cafeteria Bans Powdered Sugar

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo US July 1, 2014
CDC

Other things banned from the CDC cafeteria include powdered donuts, evaporated milk, flour and pure cocaine.

Four Ways Harley-Davidson’s Electric Motorcycle Will Destroy America

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Blogs, US June 20, 2014

Let’s face it. With this bike, Harley-Davidson is turning thousands of us into transsexuals. Because everyone knows: No combustion engine means no penis, literally.

Scientists Develop Way of Teleporting Real Information Into Textbooks, Bypassing Texas Bd. of Education

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US June 6, 2014

“This could change the game,” he adds. “The Texas Board of Education would have no power to indoctrinate students with invalid information.”

NNTS: Fox ‘expert’ links Bowe Bergdahl’s ballet dancing to Obama’s lack of ‘Americanism

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines June 4, 2014

“And this swap — somebody who may not feel very American for five people who definitely don’t — is symptomatic of that. It was bound to happen when you have a leader that doesn’t affiliate with patriotism.”

DEA Chief Accuses Obama of Ongoing Drug Use

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Politics, Today's Headlines May 7, 2014

“That was when I knew,” said Leonhart. “This president cannot lead us to victory in the War on Drugs because this president is a double agent working for the drugs. “

NRA Claims Smart Guns Discriminate Against Less Intelligent Gun Owners

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo US May 5, 2014
Wayne LaPierre

Cox also questioned the practicality of smart gun technology. “What if you’re at your buddy’s house and a rapist comes in? You grab your buddy’s gun but it doesn’t fire and you get raped? How is that smart?”

#NNTS: NH lawmaker: Women deserve less pay because they don’t work hard like men

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines April 24, 2014

“Men, by and large, make more because some of the things that they do,” he opined. “Their jobs are, by and large, riskier. They don’t mind working nights and weekends. They don’t mind working overtime or outdoors.”

Mississippi Senate Candidate Makes Bold Promise: ‘I Ain’t Paying Taxes’ for Reparations

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US April 14, 2014

But maybe he electoral chances aren’t as promising as we thought. Because seriously: How many Mississippians will vote for a candidate who seems that fond of Mexicans?

Mike Huckabee: America Could Learn from North Korea

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Politics April 13, 2014

“As they say: Better to let people starve in freedom than enslave them with food stamps,” Huckabee added.

North Korea Fires More Missiles in Decades-Long Conflict With Sea of Japan

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, World April 1, 2014

When Kim Jong Un took control of the country, many in the CIA expected him to cease hostilities with the Sea of Japan.

Poll Numbers Place Huckabee at Head of Pack Vying to Lose to Hillary in 2016

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Politics April 1, 2014

“Hey, losing in the 2008 primaries to John McCain didn’t faze me,” Huckabee reportedly told House Republicans. “I think I’m ready to lose on the big stage, in a general election.”

Report: Christie’s Parents Assure N.J. Governor is a ‘Good Boy’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo US March 30, 2014

“Our baby boy loves his home state,” claimed Christie’s mother, “almost as much as he loves Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Nevada.”

Cosmos Host Admits Bible is More Scientific Than Science

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Today's Headlines, US March 26, 2014
Dr Neil deGrasse Tyson

Comfort approached Tyson to educate the celebrated scientist after an episode of “Cosmos” stated that one could not use the Bible as a scientific source, because no scripture-based theory had ever been scientifically proven.

Cash-Strapped Pentagon Asks Iran to Build Nuclear Aircraft Carrier for US

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Politics, Today's Headlines March 26, 2014

“Tough, tough choices are coming here,” Hagel briefed a House committee. “You’re going to have to help us make them. There isn’t any way around it.”

Amazing Parody Shows What Hollywood Auditions are like for Women of Color

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Entertainment, Today's Headlines, Video March 26, 2014

The only video to watch today……

Hawaii’s Prostitutes Demand Hazard Pay for Sleeping with Undercover Cops

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo US March 24, 2014

Without the provision, a representative for the police department warned, “We’d probably have to completely renegotiate the vice squad’s benefit package, which would be a real nightmare.”

GOP Looks to Broaden Base by Running Registered Sex Offender

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo Politics March 24, 2014
GOP

“We’ve already had people like Nixon and Schwarzenegger running the state,” noted San Diego resident Kim Barclay. “I think California will survive a pro-rape administration.”

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