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#NNTS: KKK rally at Gettysburg Civil War site canceled due to government shutdown

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize October 1, 2013
KKK

Ku Klux Klan (KKK) members hoping to rally on Saturday at Gettysburg, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of the U.S. Civil War, were disappointed when their plans were scuttled by a government shutdown. Amid public outrage, the National Parks…


Bachmann: “Obama Is A Crack Dealer Who Tries To Market His Obamacare To Poor People”

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 30, 2013
Bachmann

“I think the reason is because President Obama can’t wait to get Americans addicted to the crack cocaine of dependency on more government health care,” said Bachmann

Sen. Kent Lambert: “Democrats using ‘mind control’ to make people accept ‘homosexuals’”

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 24, 2013

“There are no waivers or provisions for any contrary thought, whether it’s religion or people’s expression of their own morality”

#NNTS: Zimmerman goes into hiding to put divorce on hold

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 23, 2013

The lawyer said that Zimmerman had been laying low ever since he allegedly threatened his wife with a gun and punched his father-in-law in the nose earlier this month.

#NNTS: Pastor blames Colorado floods on abortion, weed and ‘decadent homosexual activity’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 20, 2013

“Is it a coincidence that this was the worst year politically in the history of Colorado, at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics?” he asked. “Our legislators committed homosexual acts on the front page of the Denver Post, do you remember that?”

#NNTS: Fox News analyst: Income disparity exists ‘because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 19, 2013

“You want to see why the rich get richer? Because poor people are gonna eat a bunch of turkey. Even though they’re stuffed to the gills, they’re gonna run to the mall and spend every nickel they have. I’m being honest with you.”

#NNTS: Fox News’ Hasselbeck: Navy Yard shooting shows need for video game registry, not gun control

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines September 17, 2013

New Fox & Friends host Elisabeth Hasselbeck on Tuesday suggested that “the left” was trying to make Monday’s mass shooting at the Washington Navy Yard about “gun control,” when what the country really needed was a registry to track video game purchases.”

#NNTS: Florida man accused of ‘walking on wrong side of the road’

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 11, 2013

First Coast News reported on Monday that Bobby Wingate was cited by an officer for “walking down the wrong side of the road” during the stop, then punched in the face.

#NNTS: Creationist: Big Bang theory ‘bad science’ because it contradicts the Bible

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 6, 2013
shocked-lady

“It doesn’t line up with the Bible, and it has a lot of problems that those scientists don’t want to tell you.”

#NNTS: Fox News guest: ‘That’s a teaching moment’ when hungry students don’t get school lunches

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 5, 2013
fox ff school lunch

A Fox News guest on Thursday argued that hungry students would have a “teaching moment” if they were refused access in the cafeteria line to school lunches because their parents hadn’t properly filled out the right paperwork. During a segment…


#NNTS: Creationist: Christians must challenge the ‘culture shift’ to rational, ‘humanist’ thought

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines September 3, 2013

“You show some of the evidence for Creation and they say, ‘Yeah, I see, I get it.’”

#NNTS: Former Cheney aide demands Syria ‘exit strategy’ from Obama

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize September 1, 2013

“What is the exit strategy? None of these questions are answered.”

#NNTS: Fox News expert: ‘Women have the breasts’ so health care should cost more than men

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines August 27, 2013

“Yes, that’s a good point, except that, you know, women live longer,” Samadi asserted. “Women live until age 81 and men live only until 76. So, we’re using the health care system much less.”

#NoNeedToSatirize San Diego Republican accused of openly masturbating in men’s restroom

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize August 24, 2013
shocked-lady

“San Diego has been given a fresh start,” he said in a statement. “Now is the time to put aside partisan differences to seek healing, foster unity and restore stability at City Hall.”

#NNTS Gun lobbyist: Obamacare will force gun owners to have electroshock therapy

Avatar of News Lo By News Lo NoNeedToSatirize, Today's Headlines August 23, 2013

“Well, I think part of that is what we’re seeing in Obamacare,” Pratt agreed. “This is going to be what you’re talking about several times over.”

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