North Korea Declares ‘No-Backsies’ if Nuclear War Occurs

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OSAKA, Japan – Following a series of verbal jousting between the governments of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, or North Korea, and the United States of America, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has declared the  “no-backsies” rule to be in effect in the event of a nuclear war between his country, America and its allies. “North Korea retains its first strike…

Google Maps North Korean Gulags, Fails to Highlight Escape Routes

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PYONGYANG — In an historic move, Google has finally documented the villages, highways, and prison camps of the world’s most secretive nation, but somehow neglected to include the country’s most important and sought-after map feature: escape routes. Following a visit to the North Korean capital by Google chairman Eric E. Schmidt early in January, a country that has historically remained largely uncharted…

North Korea Shocked at America’s Military Spending and Poverty

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PYONGYANG – During an after party celebrating North Korea’s successful missile launch, Kim Jong-un reportedly expressed strong sentiments about the American economy and military spending habits. “I am very concerned about the future of America,” North Korea’s supreme leader explained. “They are recovering from a terrible recession, they are struggling with healthcare reforms and also dealing with obesity issues – America should…