“The only way to stop a 9-year-old with an Uzi is an 8-year-old with a bazooka,” wrote Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the NRA and a youngest child.
“If ‘smart’ means even the slightest restriction or inconvenience, we at the NRA will side with dumb every time,” LaPierre added.
“It’s better if we just don’t talk about it,” he added.
Cox also questioned the practicality of smart gun technology. “What if you’re at your buddy’s house and a rapist comes in? You grab your buddy’s gun but it doesn’t fire and you get raped? How is that smart?”
“Heck, the Manchin-Toomey bill was ridiculously popular, but they held firm and voted against it. So we’re thanking them by giving them guns.”
The NRA is dead set against allowing the proposal to pass. Its newsletter, “Silver Barrels,” warns of a government plot to limit artistic freedom.
“If a corporation has something in its background it doesn’t want discovered, it can go buy a gun anonymously at a gun show like everybody else.”
Congratulations to all the NRA’s scholarship winners! You really know how to keep your deep-pocketed constituents happy.