Palin Supports Black Pastor, Calls For Re-Introducing Slavery On Voluntary Basis
“It would reduce pressure on the already tense relationship between white people and the black community”
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Palin
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Palin: “We Must Stop Military Collaboration With France, Everybody Knows It’s A Muslim Country
“Worrying about terrorists and murderers is an act of lunacy, so I guess you know what that makes Andrea Mitchell then!”
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35,000 Walruses on Alaskan Shore There for Right-to-Work Laws, Sarah Palin Claims
Former governor Sarah Palin insisted today that the 35,000 Walruses who have migrated to Alaska amidst falling ice levels have come for the state’s right to work law.
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Palin Calls For Obama’s Impeachment, Own Show on Fox News
“Everything Fox has told me to say, I’ve said. I think it’s high time they gave me a TV show where I can parrot their views and actually make a profit.”
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Sarah Palin Organized Russian Crimean Invasion, Just Wanted to Be Right
“I just wanted the media to stop treating me like an airheaded bimbo,” said a distraught Palin, “and I figured making one of my predictions come true was a good place to start.”
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Palin ‘Devastated’ Pope Francis Named ‘Person of the Year’ as ‘He Shows No Signs of Quitting Halfway Through Term Like Benedict’
“Miley Cyrus quit acting as Hannah Montana, Ted Cruz quit his filibuster and Edward Snowden quit America. These are people who are much easier to understand than some stay-in-the-job guy like Pope Francis seems to be.”
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Palin to Republicans: ‘Join the Tea Party, or Get Hit by a Bus’
“More specifically, my tour bus,” Palin continued, “which will be driven by me, Mike Lee and Teddy Cruz.”
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Palin: Republican ‘Elitists’ Told Me Not to Talk in Public, Ever
When Palin’s speaking limitations eventually became absolute in Kenosha, Wis., she realized she had to take a stand. “Nobody puts a kibosh on this pretty ol’ muzzle,” Palin remarked.
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