“Lots of people wrote in to ask how they can protect themselves from these queer, ring-toting murderers,” Robertson said Thursday. “Well, that made me realize I had to come clean about my anti-gay necklace. It’s time for the world to know.”
“How many other species do you know that pretend to be all fine and dandy but then grow a pair of legs when push comes to shove?”
“You don’t choose an illness; it works the other way around”
“You want to go to church to praise the Lord. You don’t want to go to church to shoot people or to get shot.” he continued. “But you also want to be ready with a well-oiled AK-47 when you need it.”
Popular televangelist Pat Robertson used his TV program “The 700 Club” today to announce that he has discovered a cure for cancer.
“We’d do it all morning, then Patty would go off to pray the sex off of him,” Sally writes. “I’m not sure if it ever worked, though. He usually came back ready and rarin’ to go.”
“Some in the gay community there, they want to get people so if they got the stuff they’ll have a ring, you shake hands, and the ring’s got a little thing where you cut your finger.
“Look what happened to Sodom. After a while, there wasn’t any other way, and God did something pretty drastic.”