political humor and satire

Source: Trump Would Broaden The New York Times’ Perspective to Include the Batshit-Insane

NEW YORK – According to sources, real estate mogul and reality-TV show host Donald Trump—who is reportedly exploring the possibility of purchasing the New York Times—would make dramatic changes to…

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White House: Obama “Kill List” Assembled via Pin the Tail on the Donkey

WASHINGTON — In a statement released today, the White House revealed the process by which individuals are added to the so-called “Kill List,” a controversial list of suspected terrorists and…

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Sen. Mitch McConnell Warns Supporters That Black People Want to Take Their Guns

WASHINGTON — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) has warned his supporters that if they are not careful, black men will soon be taking their guns and possibly their wives.…

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Congress Planning Sabbatical for 2013

WASHINGTON — Members of the House of Representatives and Senate today voted to take the year off in order to spend time with family, enroll in some online classes to…

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Politics

McCain Willing to Trade Hagel Confirmation for Sleepover at White House

WASHINGTON — Earlier this week, Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) announced he had “significant doubts” about Obama’s choice of Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb) for the Secretary of Defense position. Since then,…

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Tea Party Groups Prepare for Inauguration of President Romney

WASHINGTON — Representatives from Tea Party Patriots, Tea Party Express, and The Nationwide Tea Party Coalition have gathered in the heart of the Texas Panhandle to prepare for the festivities…

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Politics

Obama Discovers He’s Used Bush Foreign Policy Playbook Since 2008 Due to Clerical Error

WASHINGTON — Faces were red with embarrassment in the Oval Office yesterday when White House Deputy Chief of Staff Alyssa Mastromonaco discovered that the Obama administration had been using the…

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Politics

Biden Declares “Mission Accomplished” After Gun Control Task Force Comes Up with an Idea

WASHINGTON — Earlier today Vice President Joe Biden, the head of President Obama’s gun control task force, presented the President with the task force’s official findings- an idea on how…

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Gun Appreciation Day 48 Hours Before Inauguration is Just a Giant Misunderstanding

WASHINGTON – “It is really just a family friendly day with a focus on military-grade assault rifles,” said Chip Smith, gun shop owner and co-sponsor of Gun Appreciation Day. While…

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Sec. Geithner Accidentally Gives Pan-Handler Trillion Dollar Coin

WASHINGTON — Regular panhandler Willie Jones is used to receiving spare change from Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner. But yesterday he was shocked when Geithner handed him the nation’s…

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Politics

Congress Approaches “Sandy Cliff,” Mandated Destruction of Jersey Homes by Vikings

WASHINGTON — Responding to the blistering charges of negligence made by Governor Chris Christie earlier this week, Congress has passed a bill mandating that New Jersey and New York receive…

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GOP Show Sympathetic Side with Billionaire Relief Bill

WASHINGTON – After receiving negative press as well as rebukes from some of their own members over the House’s initial refusal to take up the Hurricane Sandy Relief Bill, Republican…

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Republicans and Democrats Unite Against Privacy, Extend FISA to 2017

WASHINGTON – After spending the majority of December in fierce opposition over the fiscal cliff, Democrats and Republicans have finally found an issue to unite behind: the federal government’s continued…

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NRA Counters Gun Buybacks with Assault Rifle Giveaway

LOS ANGELES – After a hugely successful one-day gun buyback event in Los Angeles saw over 2,000 firearms – including 75 assault weapons and two rocket launchers – being returned…

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Nation Shocked Members of Congress are Still Employed

WASHINGTON – With the fiscal cliff debacle, consistent bi-partisan stalemates, and the overall inability to complete a task, Americans are appalled that these idiots in Congress are still employed. “If…

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Politics

Jenny Sandford’s Political Intentions Leaked Via Emails with Her Ex-Husband

To: Mark Sanford <[email protected]> Subject: Making Amends Hi Mark, Just wanted to touch base with you. I know we haven’t spoken since you failed as a husband and father, but…

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Politics

Travelocity Offers Congress a “Fiscal Cliff Discount”

SOUTHLAKE, Texas — Taking advantage of the country’s dire financial situation along with politicians abundance of vacation time, online travel company Travelocity is offering Congress a groundbreaking promotional offer. Members…

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Politics

Disgraced Congressmen Lead “Scared Straight” Seminar for Incoming Legislators

WASHINGTON — Taking a page from the NFL’s playbook, on Friday Congress hosted its first ever “Scared Straight” seminar to warn freshman members about the pitfalls of sexting and governance.…

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