GOP to Block Nomination of Jesus to HHS


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WASHINGTON – Still licking wounds from the setback over Ambassador Susan Rice and preparing for another battle with Republicans over of the appointment of Chuck Hagel to the Pentagon, the White House once again finds itself facing resistance from the right over a cabinet nomination. This time, the Republican party is united in opposition to the nomination Jesus Christ as Secretary of…

Obama Playing ‘Real Long’ Game, Vows Not to Back Down Once He Leaves Office

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WASHINGTON — In the aftermath of the ‘fiscal cliff’ accord deal reached by Congress, Obama once again came under withering criticism by the liberal wing of his party, who complained that it was another instance of the President caving when he held almost all the cards. The president, clearly stung by this critique, held an impromptu press conference yesterday and defended his…

Romney Concession Speech Leaked

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BELMONT, Mass. – My fellow Americans, I would like to thank you for the support I have received throughout my campaign for the presidency. While it did not lead to the desired result, I still believe I have contributed to the political discourse in this great nation, and I have the support of millions to thank for that. It’s getting closer and…

Gallup Poll Finds That 48% of Americans Believe There Is An Election in November

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OMAHA, Nebraska — A recent poll from Gallup, Inc., has revealed that the vast majority of Americans are unsure as to when the presidential election will take place. Gallup, known for its persistent polling on political issues, but also for some vague polls such as the “Happiness” and “Suffering” series, inaugurated its newest poll during the week of October 19. The organization…

Greece to Return to Classical Era

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ATHENS – The Hellenic Parliament of Greece has unanimously voted to activate a time machine that will return the nation of Greece to its cultural and political zenith of 411 B.C. Greece, which has struggled for years with a destabilizing debt crisis and soaring unemployment, was once the birthplace of democracy and Western Civilization, home to the great minds of Socrates, Aristotle,…

“MTV Cribs: Backpage.com’s Jim Larkin” — The House That Human Trafficking Built

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PHOENIX – A special edition of the popular MTV program “Cribs” has gone inside the home of Jim Larkin, co-owner of the controversial classifieds site, Backpage.com. Despite myriad reports of prostitution and human trafficking advertisements on the site – often involving minors — Backpage.com has earned Larkin millions and allowed him to live a life usually reserved for top-tier celebrities and Fortune…