Pope’s New Advisory Board Already Clashing with God

VATICAN CITY — A week after creating his advisory board, Pope Francis is stepping in to mediate a conflict between its appointed members and God. Sources at the Vatican confirm that the mounting disagreements between the prelates and the Lord Almighty concern managerial and financial matters. The Pope created the advisory committee, made up of eight people, to counsel him in fixing…

Pope’s New Book Challenges Facts of Christmas, Birth of Jesus

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VATICAN CITY — Just in time for Christmas, bestselling author Pope Benedict XVI is set to release “Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives,” promising that the third volume in his widely popular “Jesus” trilogy will blow the doors off the conventional thinking behind Christmas, The Virgin Birth, and two-thousand years of Christian history. “The Good Lord knows that you must raise the…

Pope to Release Vatican Bloopers DVD

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ROME — Faced with record criticism over his mishandling of sexual abuse allegations against Catholic priests, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI will attempt to mitigate the negativity by releasing a new DVD of hilarious, never-before-seen bloopers from Vatican City. “Cardinal Errors: Volume 1” showcases all of the slips, trips, missteps, and wacky antics that go on behind the stained glass windows at…