Obama Thinking About Lifting Sanctions Against Russian Ruble: “It’s Not Real Money, Anyway”
“America has never been the bad guy, and I don’t plan on making her into one while she’s under my watch”
Divorced And On The Prowl, Putin Goes Interracial
“Vladimir the Sneaky” had other things in mind; things like Jinping’s wife
Obama Writes Private Letter To Ayatollah; Putin Pouts In Jealousy
“The news caught him off guard, and he appeared very shocked, at first”
House Speaker John Boehner Pisses Off Vladimir Putin
“Maybe I should remind Mr. Boehner that I’m a black belt in judo”
Putin Remembers World War I by Preparing for World War III
Mitt Romney could not be reached for comment.
Russia Vies Once Again To Embody Bad Guy in Every Movie
“The North Koreans??? What even happens in that movie? Do they infiltrate the White House with muddy feet?” the President of the Russian Federation asked.
Putin Occupies McDonald’s PlayPlace in Crimea, Refuses to Leave Without Wrestling Grimace
“If he defeats me,” said Putin, “not only will I vacate our stronghold, I will also buy him a Happy Meal.”
Putin’s Mother Claims He Wasn’t Hugged Enough As Child
“He saw him as a boy with an angry father,” Mrs. Putina asserted. “That is why he would not send him back to America. It had nothing to do with a fair trial and everything to do with his father missing all those ballet recitals.”