“Actually, they best get ready; I’m not a man who makes empty promises”
The legislation is named the “Stop Giving Unemployed People Any Money” Act of 2014, and already has 21 GOP co-sponsors.
Still, Paul has vowed to footnote his public statements and establish a “study group” to discuss Ayn Rand’s oeuvre, promising to “actually read her works cover to cover this time, not just the book jackets.”
“As humans, yeah, we do have an obligation to give pets water, to give pets food,” allowed Paul, but “once you conscript people and say, ‘You can feed your cat Fancy Feast but not Meow Mix,’ then it’s servitude.”
“Let me repeat myself,” Paul added, “I’m not saying I was against the Civil Rights Act. I’m just saying that felons, who for some odd reason seem to be mostly African-Americans, should not be restricted from voting.”
WASHINGTON — At a press conference in the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced that the administration fully intends to take care of American troops after the nation’s incipient war with Iran. “Now listen, the American people have always looked out for their servicemen and women when they return home from battle,” said Obama, breaking into a chuckle. “I almost got through…