Republicans Pass “Passive-Aggressive Violence Against Women” Act

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WASHINGTON — House Republicans, gloomy in the wake of the passage of the Violence Against Women Act, quickly regained their mojo and overwhelmingly passed the “Passive-Aggressive Act Against Women Act.” “This is an historic day for the Republican Party,” House Majority Leader Eric Cantor proclaimed. “Today, by reluctantly declaring that rape, murder, disfigurement and senseless beatings against women have no place in…

Martin Luther King, Jr. Founded the Modern GOP, Says Modern GOP

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WASHINGTON — A newly released biography of Martin Luther King Jr. penned collaboratively by prominent Republican politicians and pundits has revealed some surprising facts about the late civil rights leader’s political views. The biography, titled MLK: Father of the Modern GOP, is a compilation of writings from Republican figures like Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity, which analyze King’s speeches and…

Romney Energizes Base with Commitment to Third Amendment Rights

ORLANDO, Fla. — In a speech today to the Tea Party’s Constitutional Originalist Society, presidential candidate Mitt Romney affirmed his commitment to defend Third Amendment rights if elected. The $500-a-plate crowd gave Romney a standing ovation as he firmly declared his opposition to the forced quartering of soldiers during peacetime. “President Obama has done more than any president in history to roll…