Rob Ford Archives

World

Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford Blames Lack of Power, ‘Too Much Free Time’ for Drug Relapse

“The devil finds work for idle hands. Leave him alone,” warned Diane Ford, the mayor’s mother, “and Robert will try anything—anything—to regain the attention he so craves.”

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Story of Crackhead Turned Mayoral Hopeful Warms Canadian Hearts 1

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2 min

Story of Crackhead Turned Mayoral Hopeful Warms Canadian Hearts

“I think Rob Ford is proof that it’s never too late to turn your life around. It shows that anybody—and I mean anybody—can become mayor of our city,” said Toronto resident Mary Beansleeve.

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Rob Ford Possessed by Ghost of Chris Farley 2

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2 min

Rob Ford Possessed by Ghost of Chris Farley

As of press time, David Spade is frantically trying to call Ford about the possibility of making Black Sheep 2.

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Toronto Mayor’s Crack Dealer Calls for His Resignation 3

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2 min

Toronto Mayor’s Crack Dealer Calls for His Resignation

Mayor Ford issued a brief statement denying his involvement with Slick Jay or the “drug community” and again insisted that he would not vacate his office.

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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford: I Did Not Smoke Crack Today 4

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2 min

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford: I Did Not Smoke Crack Today

Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is facing charges from the media that he was filmed smoking crack with Somali drug dealers. After a week of silence Ford held a press…

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1 min

#NoNeedToSatirize: Toronto ‘crack’ mayor fires chief of staff who told him to get help

Toronto ‘crack’ mayor fires chief of staff who told him to get help (via Raw Story ) Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford denied smoking crack cocaine in a brief statement…

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2 min

World

‘Rob Ford’ Revealed to be Elaborate Test of Public’s Patience

TORONTO – Amid swirling rumors of a video showing him smoking crack, the York University Sociology Department confessed that the entire political career of Rob Ford is simply an elaborate…

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