“Maybe New Orleans should ask the French or Canadian government for help, in their native language. I’m sure they take care of their own”
“Otherwise, we’re looking at a land of buttfu**ers in the coming years”
“I love and respect the guy, but science is science and it should not be taken lightly, especially not by men of God”
Fox rep: “We’ll be starting off a petition in the next few days to confiscate all of Bruce’s sports medals”
“What you are witnessing now are the simple effects of demand and supply”
“The biggest problem now is finding thousands of Western virgins, since there almost aren’t any these days”
“You know what they say, ‘some motherfu****s are always trying to ice skate uphill’”
“I cannot believe that a handful of Muslim rebels wearing bandanas and sandals are managing to beat back the single most powerful military power on the planet”
“The moment you decide to come out as LGBT, you lose God’s protection”
“He’s essentially allowed the snakes back into the snake pit”
“Only ten years or so ago, the easiest way to drive up conservative turnout in most states was to place an initiative on the ballot seeking to either legalize or ban marriage equality. That initiative would draw conservatives to the polls to vote, one way or the other, against marriage equality, and while there, pull the lever or check the box for…
“We were all put on God’s green Earth to do our part”
“Honest-to-God, normal, traditional Christians are on the verge of being extinct”
“It would probably be called something like the ‘Federal Praying Service,’ or FPS, for short. It would also most certainly do more good than what ObamaCare is managing to do right now,”
“Those idiots [Democrats] walked right into their trap”
“America blames white police officers for shooting black men without even wondering why such things happen”
“Iraq was just the beginning, and I can’t even take credit for that”
“Needless to say, it’s worked on me, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been”
“There must be some right in every wrong”
“You don’t choose an illness; it works the other way around”
“It would reduce pressure on the already tense relationship between white people and the black community”
“Father and son should be allowed to marry, if they’re both consenting adults”
“The anti-Muslim activist whose Mohammad cartoon contest in Texas was attacked by two gunmen on Sunday said the shooting shows the importance of her message. Pamela Geller, American Freedom Defense Initiative president and sponsor of the “Draw Mohammad” contest in Garland, Texas, defended her event to CNN’s Alisyn Camerota on Monday. “Geller said: “This terrible incident reflects the need for such conferences.…
Silicon Valley, CA — With the recent success of Microsoft’s age guessing app, the company has wasted no time at all in rolling out their new death estimator. Working similarly to the age guesser, users simply upload pictures of themselves, the app tells them their death date, and if linked to their Facebook, creates an open event page for the funeral. “We…