Ted Cruz: “Left-Wing Sites Do Satire On Me Because They’re Threatened By My Intelligence”
“It’s not like I plan on shutting them down when I’m President”
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Satire
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De Blasio Announces White House Bid; Clinton, Republicans Struggle to Respond
Donald Trump told Fox & Friends this morning that if elected, de Blasio will turn the country into “one big marijuana village with no police force.”
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McCain Calls Cruz “Whacko Bird”: “Somebody Needs To Put Him Back In His Cage”
“It would be better for him and this country that he doesn’t win presidency”
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Scott Walker Suggests Carving Jesus’ Face Into Mt. Rushmore “As One Of The Founding Fathers”
“It would do wonders for South Dakota’s tourism revenues”
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Hillary Slams Trump: “Phallic-Shaped Buildings Mean He’s Over-Compensating…For Something”
“And the best part? He confesses it publicly with each new skyscraper”
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Auto Repair Shop Bans Gays: “I’m Armed, But Still Afraid Of Turning My Back To Them”
“It is my right as a white American to not be molested by the presence of gay people”
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Fiorina: “Clinton won’t be able to ‘play the gender card’ Against Me, Everybody Likes Girl-On-Girl Action”
“I would totally obliterate her in a debate”
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Hillary Clinton: “Americans Incapable Of Making Independent Decisions”
“We must accept donations from foreign governments”
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