satirical horoscopes

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) This week: Mars is straight up messin’ with you, bro. Love: Don’t fall asleep during sex unless you’re playing “Doctor and Narcoleptic.” Career: People still won’t…

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Brutally Honest Horoscopes

January 23, 2013
News Lo

Brutally Honest Horoscopes Mama like SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) This week: Saturn is in the realm of Pluto and it’s bordering on stalking. Love: Dating an older woman makes you sophisticated. Dating…

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Brutally Honest Horoscopes

December 25, 2012
News Lo

Holiday Horoscopes Bah, Humbug SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) This week: This week, you will be reminded of Christmases past and, unfortunately, something your uncle called “elf love”. Love: Just because…

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