“I’m using the extended wait time and my severe abdominal pain to save the money I’d otherwise be using to pay for food and entertainment.”
Justice Samuel Alito went on to say that he found “Idol” judge Harry Connick Jr.’s advice to young musicians to be a valuable message to young Americans.
“A corporation is simply a form of organization used by human beings to achieve desired ends,” he wrote.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” the justice continued, “I have to write a check to Harvard Law School. They’re naming a library after me.”
“Who can resist a fight like that?” Kaufmann wondered. “Not the SCOTUS, I can tell you. I’ve never seen them so giddy.”
“This season, the Court is set to tackle affirmative action and campaign finance reform. Man, not even Neil Young could get a breakaway single out of issues like that…”
“Constitution shmonstitution. The mark of a good Supreme Court justice is whether he or she agrees with me.”
WASHINGTON — Americans across the country have been intently following a case introduced to the Supreme Court on Tuesday that will determine whether or not gays and lesbians will be given sole access to the concept of love. The potentially landmark court case follows the passage of a 2008 California referendum that reserves love solely to heterosexual couples. However, attitudes nationwide have…