“Have you ever hung out with a Secret Service agent?” said a White House official who requested anonymity. “They’re a bunch of regular Jerry Seinfelds, let me tell you. Wonderful senses of humor.”

“Nobody wants that job. We usually reserve it for rookies and agents guilty of dereliction of duty. But given that the current Vice President is Joe Biden, it’s just adding insult to injury.”
“Now with eunuchs manning the new presidential security detail,” continued Donovan, “we’re bound to see the same level of commitment with fewer distractions.”