Small Business Owners Lose Spotlight as Tiny Business Owners Gain Notoriety

WICHITA, Kan. — Alan Jenkins, the owner of a small grocery store near Wichita, Kansas, is only seven inches tall and manages to oversee all aspects of his business, working nearly 100 hours per week. Carla O’Dwyer, a dentist with her own practice in Parsippany, New Jersey, weighs only four ounces yet still sees fifteen patients a day, many of them last minute appointments. There are thousands of tiny business owners like these two across the nation, and while they have certainly had their share of difficulties in recent years, many find that things are looking up thanks in part to a recent surge in public support and media attention.

During the 2012 election and throughout the fiscal cliff debates, Americans heard ‘small business owners’ mentioned constantly, almost as often as they heard about the ‘middle class.’ As people looked more closely at the real details of the country’s small business owners, they came to see that the category included a wide variety of individuals, not the least of which were tiny business owners.

Tony Albaretti, a man no taller than a quarter who owns and operates his own butcher shop in Dearborn, Michigan called Petite Meats, reports an encouraging rise in business this past month alone. “A lot of people are thinking, ‘hey, let’s go to that miniscule butcher down the road rather than that 6’4” guy we used to buy from.’ People appreciate good service, and it makes a difference, you know?” Tony told reporters.

While prospects seem to be growing for tiny business owners overall, there are still plenty of obstacles to overcome. The seven inch tall Michael Lambert, for instance, has been trying to expand his local shoe store in Providence, Rhode Island for almost eight years. The problem? He can’t find any banks willing to lend in any form besides a microloan.


Small Business Owners Cited in Stump Speeches Reveal Candidates’ Lies: “They never said those things to me”

JOLIET, Ill. — Deborah Carpenter, founder and owner of a chain of local convenience stores, has called out presidential candidate Mitt Romney for misrepresenting their brief conversation at a recent campaign rally.

In a recent stump speech, Romney said, “A lovely small business owner named Deborah told me that I had her vote because the President’s economic strategies had failed her and she believed, as I do, that we needed a change. She told me, ‘I’m worried about my kids going to college, I’m worried about my mortgage, and I’m worried about how the challenges facing my business are affecting my life.’”

But Carpenter has told the press that she never actually spoke such words, and that her “conversation” with Romney lasted no more than ten seconds.

“Look, I’m a Romney fan,” Carpenter told Newslo. “I wouldn’t have attended the rally if I weren’t. But when he passed by me and I asked him for specifics on his strategies to protect small business owners, he said, ‘Well…’ and then one of his aides pushed me aside so that he could get a photo with a baby.

“Also,” Carpenter added, “I don’t even have any children.”

Carpenter’s statements have inspired other misrepresented small business owners to come forth with their own stories. Alan Singh, owner of an accounting group in Glendale, CA, has claimed that President Obama fabricated details of their interaction in a recent stump speech as well.

Obama told the audience, “A small business owner named Alan runs an accounting firm in southern California. He asked me about corporate tax rates, whether I’d increase them, and I told him I was dedicated to making the wealthy, powerful individuals and corporations contribute more to this country, instead of small businesses having to make sacrifices so that the rich can keep their comfortable exemption cushions.”

But Singh told Newslo, “Obama never said those things to me.

“I was wearing a Lakers hat,” Singh continued, “and when I asked the President what he’d do to continue turning the economy around without making small businesses like mine suffer, he smiled and said, ‘Hey, I’m a Kobe fan too!’”