Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”
“Maybe New Orleans should ask the French or Canadian government for help, in their native language. I’m sure they take care of their own”
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Ted Cruz
16 posts
Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’
“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes, leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”
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Ted Cruz: “Left-Wing Sites Do Satire On Me Because They’re Threatened By My Intelligence”
“It’s not like I plan on shutting them down when I’m President”
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Ted Cruz Demands Firing Scientists Who Claim People Are Born Gay
“Honest-to-God, normal, traditional Christians are on the verge of being extinct”
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Rafael Cruz Supports Police Body Cameras “To Prevent Masturbating During Working Hours”
“America blames white police officers for shooting black men without even wondering why such things happen”
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Cruz: “If Fort Hood Shooting Was Workplace Violence, 9/11 Was Parachuting Accident”
“I feel ashamed seeing how low we have sunk as a nation”
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Ted Cruz Goes On ObamaCare, Also Joins In On Immigration
“It will be one of the first things I tackle upon taking office. That I promise you”
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Cruz: “I’m Ok With Gay Marriage, As Long As It’s Between A Gay And A Lesbian”
“That’s really the only option that works for me”
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Obama Strikes Deal With GOP, Cruz Now Allowed To Run For 2016 Presidency
“I have a strange feeling that allowing him to run is going to come back and bite me in the ass”
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Ted Cruz: How Gays Ruined My Father’s Day
This time next year, if you want to honor Father’s Day, you must spend those 24 hours fighting to keep fatherhood pure. Go out and place “Ted Cruz ’16” on all your neighbors’ lawns. That, at least, will be a very good start.
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Ted Cruz Renounces Canadian Citizenship, Tattoos American Flag on Forehead
“I’ll be the first Latino president, as well as the first president to love America so much he’ll tattoo it to his body to show it,” Cruz explained. “And it’s about time, I say.”
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Ted Cruz’s Father Says UN Wants Your Bodily Fluids
“The human body is 70% water, and Agenda 21 - so-named because it refers to the 21% of the body not made of water- is a plot to control that 70%. Don’t let them control your 70%!”
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‘Ted Cruz’ Coloring Book Teaches Children how to Shame Atheists, Euthanize the Uninsured
“If they need a little push making their way into Heaven, that okay too,” the book says. “Jesus will understand if you help them ‘fall’ down a flight of stairs. It’s what Uncle Cruz would do!”
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#NNTS: Ted Cruz coloring book for children says Obamacare ‘worse than any war’
“At least American soldiers have weapons with which to defend themselves,” the book adds.
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Sen. Cruz to Run for President of the Confederacy
“Sure, right now there’s no Confederacy,” Cruz said. “But there are still three long years left in Obama’s term—which is plenty of time for another round of secession.”
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#NoNeedToSatirize: Ted Cruz: A path to citizenship is ‘profoundly unfair’
Cruz, who was visiting Iowa at the time, also told Karl that he considered himself a U.S. citizen by birth and eligible to run for president — even though he was born in Canada — because his mother was a U.S. citizen.
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