Turkish President Says It’s No Coincidence Every Thanksgiving Features A Turkey
“Every time an American takes a bite of turkey meat anywhere in the world, they should keep in mind that they should, in fact, be thanking Turks”
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Thanksgiving
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Victory Over Thanksgiving Proves Power of Bi-Partisanship
Experts say the War on Thanksgiving has been the most effective holiday obliteration since Columbus Day was relegated from “parade worthy” to “afterthought.”
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Netanyahu Blasts America for Allowing Thanksgiving to ‘Take Over’ Hanukkah
“It’s bad enough that most gentiles already think of Hanukkah as nothing more than Christmas for the Jews. Now the Jewish people have to contend with another made up holiday,” complained Netanyahu.
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Pardoned Turkey Kidnaps, Assaults Two
BALTIMORE — Police have confirmed that the turkey responsible for robbing and abducting two Maryland motorists on Thanksgiving is, in fact, the same foul ceremonially pardoned by President Barack Obama.…
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Ghost of Paula Deen Teaches Vegetarian the True Meaning of Thanksgiving
MINNEAPOLIS — According to local vegetarian Tim Gunderson, the ghost of still-living Food Network chef and butter aficionado Paula Deen visited him last night to show Gunderson the true meaning…
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Angsty Upper Middle Class Teen Can’t Find One Thing to Be Thankful For
SCARSDALE, N.Y. — Sources indicate that Richie Bell, a 16-year-old resident of Westchester County, will likely spend Thanksgiving considering his many blessings and systematically attempting to discredit them. Although Bell…
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