Terrorists Applaud Relaxed TSA Restrictions

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FLUSHING, N.Y. — Although the Transportation Security Administration’s decision to allow small knives on planes has been met with harsh criticism from airline workers, terrorists aboard United States airlines are reportedly enjoying the newly relaxed policies. “I’m a whittling enthusiast,” enthused terrorist Hassan Mohammed Fadhil as he carried his luggage into LaGuardia Airport. “I’ve always considered it a violation of my freedom…