“Double standards never brought anything good to anyone”
“Then I might just listen to what he has to say”
Asked about the loss of priceless works of art that were recently restored at the cost of millions of dollars, a Vatican spokesperson pointed reporters to the gift shop where there are “many postcards and reprints for sale.”
“When I first heard about the indulgence-for-Twitter-following ploy, it rang hollow to me, because this pope is a visual pope. I simply couldn’t imagine His Holiness engaging in anything online that didn’t include Pinterest or Instagram.”
“Hey, I’m only here because the last guy burned out. And I can see why.”
The monstrous homosexuals, who appeared at the city gates suddenly and without warning, proceeded to smash the historic buildings of Vatican City to pieces with their bare hands. “
ROME — Faced with record criticism over his mishandling of sexual abuse allegations against Catholic priests, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI will attempt to mitigate the negativity by releasing a new DVD of hilarious, never-before-seen bloopers from Vatican City. “Cardinal Errors: Volume 1” showcases all of the slips, trips, missteps, and wacky antics that go on behind the stained glass windows at…