Netanyahu: Palestine was a Dress Rehearsal for Iran

TEL AVIV — After less than a week of peace in the Middle East, Israel has reignited tensions in the region by admitting the nation’s recent conflict with Palestine was merely a dress rehearsal for a full-on war with Iran. In a press conference this morning, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu described the rehearsal as an overall success. “Did some of us forget…

Um, Hi, Remember Me?

It would appear that the ungrateful infidels in American media outlets have forgotten yours truly. When was the last time you saw my name headlining primetime news? My advisors tell me those heathen presidential candidates barely even mentioned me in the debates! As if there is any more pressing issue in this country than my dangerous proclivity for beige suits, my utter…